Do you have what it takes to win ClimActs’ Coal Poems for Christmas Competition inspired by the universe’s worst poem (so far)?
Criteria: in 150 words or less, poetically (and satirically) serenade ordinary folk about the virtues of fossil fuels and mining through the eyes of a Billionaire miner! For instance, what it feels like to be given billions of taxpayers’ dollars to help you get richer through projects that destroy invaluable public assets, threaten food bowls and water reserves.
Note that since everyday is Christmas for billionaires, references to the quasi-religious consumer festival itself are unnecessary. Yet you will be handsomely rewarded for references to our winning international misinformation machine composed of thinktanks, bloggers and fake citizens’ groups.
Please submit your coal poems via this link (keeping them nice so that we can proudly share your work). Winners and prizes will be announced early in the New Year.
Scenes from our recent IPA Coalabration Poetry Slam and JP Sears’ courageous efforts to speak up for ‘the group of people who have been the most mistreated, oppressed, disrespected and cheated by the government – oil companies!’ may help provide some inspiration for your masterpiece!Share
JP Sears Standing with Standing Rock
And who couldn’t fail to see The Juice Media’s logic in handing a foreign billionaire coal miner a billion dollars of taxpayers money to help Australia on its way to giant quarry, most polluting nation status, Great Barrier Reef or Not!Share
Disclaimer: in exchange for incalculable therapeutic benefits to be derived, we reserve the right to 1) select as many winners as suits our agenda, and 2) to use your poems in future ClimActs direct action poetry slams, and/or 3) to use sophisticated psychological persuasion techniques to encourage you to humorously and non-violently deliver your poem(s) to Billionaires and/or their foot soldiers in business, government and politics.
Billionaires are sadly groaning from Coal Investile Dysfunction
This vile contagion is spreading around the globe, an epidemic out of control
Billions in our rightful profits are threatened as our visa workers are left to ponder
Solar panels are swamping our shores wreaking chaos, threatening our economy
Giant wind turbines are generating ferocious storms, threatening our bounty
That much a blind man could see, we must secure our booty!
But on this special night we celebrate our giant quarries, our minerals that delight
You can see for yourself the magic we do with sacred sites!
Think of all the ancient souls liberated from eternal substrata entrapment
So forget your Great Barrier Reef, our plans for Uluru will astound you!
Just give us your soils and souls
Relax now Aussies, know that you can trust us to do the heavy lifting
Before it is too late!