#COPThis

#COPThis

Australia is one of the highest per capita contributors to global warming. It’s a double irony therefore that Australia is also the most vulnerable inhabited continent and the country most obviously resisting the ‘heavy lifting’ required to effectively combat the most...

#JustTransition #JustDoIt

#JustTransition #JustDoIt

This time last week a flock of Climate Guardians had just returned from a 'visitation' to the Latrobe Valley where they had joined community calls for a #LVTransition for workers (not speculative fossil fuel investors) who will be directly affected by the urgently...

Save Our Aussie Coalture!

Save Our Aussie Coalture!

Meet the Millennia’s latest Neo-Power Couple: Australia’s Coral Bleach & new Senator MALCOLM IEUAN ROBERTS., the living soul, and self-proclaimed, modern-day Socrates. So their eyes met across a sea of canary yellow hard hats... “I’ll just never forget that...

#NoDAPL

#NoDAPL

In the northern USA something exceptional and exceptionally important is happening right now. People have been coming from near and far to stand with indigenous people of the Great Sioux Nation as they seek to protect their sacred lands and water from the threat of an...

BUMS™ Score The Trifecta!

BUMS™ Score The Trifecta!

Surely you’re just as buoyed (and unsurprised) as we are to see Our ‘Mr Coal’ Josh Frydenberg* take charge of Australia’s Energy & Environment! And the failed former Environment Minister Greg Hunt forge ahead as Minister for Industry & Innovation! And...

BUMS™ Score The Trifecta!

BUMS™ Score The Trifecta!

Surely you’re just as buoyed (and unsurprised) as we are to see Our ‘Mr Coal’ Josh Frydenberg* take charge of Australia’s Energy & Environment! And the failed former Environment Minister Greg Hunt forge ahead as Minister for Industry & Innovation! And...

So we lied. What to do about it?

So we lied. What to do about it?

OK. Yes, Yes, Yes it was us! We free-market-liberationist Coal Diggers did it ALL! And LIED! ...As is our democratic right when it comes to profiteering. And haven't we made a killing! That's how we can afford so many minion politicians. So enough judgement already....

Apologies World

Apologies World

Regardless of their diverse backgrounds, most Australians don’t want their beautiful, unique country turned into a giant quarry that would further poison the world with carbon pollution. It was on their behalf—during the week before the 2016 Federal election—that...

Manifesting @Greenwich+Docklands International Festival

Manifesting @Greenwich+Docklands International Festival

  When we touched down in the UK we were in Europe. When we left a few days later it felt like we were fleeing 'Brexit' rubble—a deeply polarised nation. Meanwhile as the mass media obsessed over regional percentages of 'stay’ or 'leave' votes London's...

Climate Guardians Escape Convictions

Climate Guardians Escape Convictions

After three years of peacefully protest-performing without any significant personal risks, a flock of Climate Guardians was finally arrested and criminally charged on 9 February 2016 in the Pilliga State Forest in Northern New South Wales. Given the long history of...

Your Taxes @ Work

Mar 6, 2017

Bff Australian Broadcasting COALition captains Michelle & Vanessa Guthrie

Bff Australian Broadcasting COALture captains Michelle & Vanessa Guthrie

Backed by neo-heavyweights, including BUMS* CEO2 Coral Bleach, Michelle & Vanessa Guthrie (no relation) have united on the ABC’s board to usher in a new era of ‘balance’ from the public broadcaster!

Ever since Ruppie’s daddy Keith helped found the Institute of Public Affairs (IPA) and the LNP way back in the day—more than 70 years ago!— Coal Diggers have longed to be the guardians of Australia’s trusted public broadcaster. They just love playing with microphones! And given their role in preserving ‘jobs, jobs, jobs and growth’ in Australia’s prostrated coaltural heartland, Coal Diggers are after all fully entitled to not pay taxes or for advertising.

Rebranding the ABC: Australian Broadcasting COALition

Rebranding the ABC: Australian Broadcasting COALition

Thus, t’was indeed a triumph when the Turnbull government overruled that pesky independent selection panel to appoint Vanessa Guthrie— chairwoman of the Minerals Council of Australia to ABC’s board.

ABC board heavyweights Michelle & Vanessa Guthrie (soul sistas, no relation)

ABC board heavyweights Michelle & Vanessa Guthrie (soul sistas, no relation)

Thanks to the Coal Diggers, Australians will now fund and enjoy endless images of their leaders lovingly fondling lumps of coal in parliament while being force fed fossil fuel industry spin about renewable energy’s alleged role in causing blackouts. And for the kiddies, they’ll like so dig the soon to be released Hey Clean-Coal Fairy clip, adapted—with mineral intervention (oops minimal! 😘 )—from Wiggles’ classic Hey There Wally!

Community minded BUMS help ABC broadcasters learn to love coal too!

Community minded BUMS help ABC broadcasters learn to love coal too!

Hey Clean-Coal Fairy, you’ve got to save our BUMS!

Clean-Coal, Clean-Coal, Clean-Coal, Clean-Coal Fairy, clean that carbon outa coal

You’ve got to make coal sparkle green

Just keep on a’ digging and’a dealing

Your wand keeps going round in circles, so BUMS stay super rich!

 

Hey Clean-Coal Fairy, you’ve got to save our BUMS!

Clean-Coal, Clean-Coal, Clean-Coal, Clean-Coal Fairy, keep waving your wand

You gotta be a great musician, yeas, aah, if only

Gotta wave your magic wand

Oh yea clean our coal, so BUMS stay super rich!

 

Hey Clean-Coal Fairy, you’re gotta be a great magician

You gotta clean that carbon outa coal

No, no, no, you’re gonna be the best magician

Yeah, ha, ha, ha, the best magician in the world

Ladies and Gentleman, introducing Clean-Coal Fairy, the best

Magician that ever lived, totes bff to billionaires,

Hey, Magician we mean, ha ha ha ha ha

No, no autographs, no please, stand back, no no, ha ha

You might find out her secrets, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha

Remember magic isn’t magic when you know how it’s done

Hee hee, weeeeeeee

And now for Fairy’s first trick, Ahhh, thya, thya, oh that’s right

First taxpayers pay our BUMS!

* Billionaires United Mining Services – a joint venture PPP (aka Protecting Private Profits) with Australia’s LNP Leaders

 

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