Here they are - Coral Bleach and The Coal Heads - at Parliament station standing up for BUMS, ahem, YOUR rightful rights and entitlements on the eve of Australia's Federal Election 2022! Making sure that peeps don't be fooled by other peeps' FAKE NEWS*!...
Sunday, 31st October 2021, from 7pm to sunset in Melbourne (from 8am Glasgow, UK time)
A performed installation of newly created music to send a powerful message to United Nations delegates as they arrived for Day 1 of COP26 climate negotiations.
As dusk fell, seven Climate Guardians performed on Melbourne’s iconic Princes Bridge; one Angel for each of the Earth’s continents. Joining as Angels, composers/musicians Susan Bamford Caleo and Elissa Goodrich performed their specially created music arranged for Federation Handbells.
To mark World Environment Day 2021, we're challenging one of Australia's most polluting proposals - BHP & Woodside's Scarborough LNG project. Seriously dodgy carbon accounting practices are enabling fossil fuel companies to exempt emissions from projects that they...
Image courtesy of Julian Meehan As reported in The Mornington Peninsula News, Climate Guardians proudly joined concerned local citizens from Save Westernport at Crib Point’s Woolley’s Beach on Monday 22 February. Our visit was strategically timed to coincide with the...
As challenging as well as deeply unfairly felt as lockdowns have been, COVID-19’s capacity to expose democracy’s diseases has been exceptional. At least it seems that a lot more people are seriously considering what the point is of: • leaders who wilfully ignore...
What follows is BUMS official submission to this heinous Victorian Government Inquiry: 24 August 2020 Crib Point Inquiry and Advisory Committee Planning Panels Victoria SUBMISSION: Crib Point gas import jetty and gas pipeline project Dear Sir/Madam, This Inquiry is...
In this leaked email from Coal Digger Coral Bleach to ScoMo, Aussie billionaire fossil fuel doyens plead for further massive public handouts. Dearly Devoted ScoMo, We can't thank you and your fossil fuel friendly office enough for entrusting us with Australia's...
As United Nations delegates were arriving for Day 1 of COP25 climate negotiations in Madrid, 624 pairs of hand cast clay skins from Bridget Nicholson’s Touch This Earth Lightly project lay in tight neat rows on the banks of the Yarra River opposite Federation Square...
Dear Mr Henry, Congratulations on your new role as BHP's CEO. We feel encouraged by reports suggesting that you intend continuing BHP's progress in response to fast evolving community expectations that companies take responsibility for their impacts on communities and...
Climate Guardians are immensely proud to have joined hundreds of courageous people from all walks of life—teachers, musicians, traditional custodians, doctors, writers, artists, labourers, nurses, academics and so on—at the recent IMARC (International Mining and...
Photo by Peter Hannam, Sydney Morning Herald
OK. Yes, Yes, Yes it was us! We free-market-liberationist Coal Diggers did it ALL!
And LIED! …As is our democratic right when it comes to profiteering.
And haven’t we made a killing! That’s how we can afford so many minion politicians.
So enough judgement already. It was perfectly natural behaviour for unimaginably effluent and powerful people. It’s your problem if your laws are ‘absolute crap’. In fact, if you continue with this discriminatory unearthing of our deceptions we’ll subspeeana the lot of you! Starting with those pesky Climate Guardian Angels popping up left right and centre…
So, moving on. To capitalise on what’s left before the global climate & economy melts down, and in keeping with our democratic principles, we’re including you ALL as stars in our epic Game of Coal serial adventures (think Psycho meets The Road). So don’t be ungrateful.
Thanks to our media empire, you too can follow our historic $ trail and discover how we “developed a sophisticated and deceitful campaign that funded think tanks and front groups, and paid public relations firms to deny, counter, and obfuscate peer-reviewed research” and “used that misinformation campaign to mislead the public and cast doubt in order to protect [our] financial interest.”
Image by David Robinson
Trust us to entertain you. We’ll mine your emotions too. Surely, you’ll feel exposed as the depths to which Australia has punched above its global tonnage are unveiled!
Still not sure Bébes? Good grief, just take a look at the Barrier Reef!
And in case you missed it, here we are hobnobbing with Lord Monckton – what a sweetie precious that man is! And at the world premiere of ‘Climate Hustle’ and our fellow BUMS™(Billionaires United Mining Services) from the Heartland Institute’s counter-COP21 conference at the swanky, aptly named Hotel California in Paris!
Naturally we’d like to humbly, gratefully acknowledge the relentlessly uninhibited succour of the Institute of Public Affairs (IPA, aka the Coalition) for funding our team of ‘Expertants’ (aka industry consultants) from the Flat Earth Institute. You know the old guys, the medieval astronomers headquartered in the Cayman Islands?
Love,
The Coal Diggers xx
PS Remember, whatever you do, stay away from those Climate Guardian Angels! They mean trouble with a capital T! They manifest in flocks a bit like this…
Climate Guardians at the COP21 entrance at dawn on the first day, reminding delegates of their duties — while civil guardians of the event security team stand watch also. One of them pictured is a 75 year old mother of five, grandmother of eight and a great-grandmother of three children as well as the first person in Australia to have been arrested for taking direct action against gas fracking.