Having trouble fracking your neighbour’s nature strip? The Frackers Guild are here to help!

Did you know that the first geologists were in fact grave robbers? Well, the Fracker’s Guild goes back to the dawn of the Industrial Revolution when we began our brisk trade in substrata disembowelling. We medieval geographers have been digging up the earth for centuries to profit from disinterring petrified cadavers and the occasional fossil (not to mention associated fuels). Through our collaborations with the gas industry we plan to enrich ourselves by extracting ancient fluids from every square inch of the world flushing out its decomposing organic matter of any description – forebears, coal seam gas, saints relics, sewage or whatever else we might find down there in the glorious bowels of the earth, our final frontier. Naturally, we are the BUMS* go to expertants when it comes to all matters frackable.

Don’t we look fabulous, thanks to our creative, ever-so-stylish and supportive friends at Rose Chong Costumiers!

*Billionaires United Mining Services, a conglomerate of interlinkaged peak body think tanks and public policy wonky groups devoted to unlimited substrata profiteering