Tell the Truth

Tell the Truth

Who is responsible for News Corp's non-compliance with basic journalistic codes of ethics that underpin the right to hold media licences? Climate Guardians are staging ongoing 'visitations' to highlight that the media giant's shameless championing of climate deniers...

‘What Lies Beneath’

It was a great privilege for the Climate Guardians to help launch Janet Laurence: After Nature at the Museum of Contemporary Art Australia (MCA) in Sydney on the last official day of Australia’s “unprecedented” Summer of 2019*. For nearly 40 years Janet has explored...

Trolls, taxes and trust: a call for action on digital platforms

Introduction by Croakey Editor Marie McInerney. This submission is in response to the preliminary report released by the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission’s (ACCC) as part of its critical Inquiry into Digital Platforms held in 2019. As our previous...

A resounding mandate to properly clean up Victoria’s economy

Dear Daniel Andrews and Team, We wholeheartedly congratulate you All for your win. Your determined progressive policies to transition our economy away from dirty and wasteful energy systems to clean and renewable power, and investment in long neglected public...

#ExtinctionRebellion: a movement goes global

#ExtinctionRebellion: a movement goes global

"We refuse to bequeath a dying planet to future generations by failing to act now. We act in peace, with ferocious love of these lands in our hearts. We act on behalf of life." — #ExtinctionRebellion Strategically timed to help support the global day of climate action...

BOAA Performance: ‘Visitation to Lake Wendouree’

BOAA Performance: ‘Visitation to Lake Wendouree’

It was a great pleasure and privilege for the Climate Guardians to perform at the inaugural Biennale of Australian Art (BOAA, until 6 Nov) and to contribute to the Art and Activism public discussion last weekend. Presenting the work of 150 artists, showing more than...

Coral Bleach: Queen of Global Neo-COALonial Movement

Coral Bleach: Queen of Global Neo-COALonial Movement

It was World Threatened Species Day, which resonated deeply with us Coal Diggers given the mounting, grave threats we face from the lefty-greenie-driven global uptake of solar and wind extractors!   🌞🌀 Determined to protect our specie’s way of life...

Coal Diggers’ Landmark Claim against Mums, Dads and Farmers!

May 17, 2017

Here we are out the front of the prestigious 101 Collins Street tower with our fully automated, artificially intelligent Clean Coal Fairy. Our Coaly Trinity flyers went like hot cakes!

How could we just stand by while poor Gina is being picked on for suing Victorians for $2.7bn for not letting her local pet company, Lakes Oil, frack where it wants, and Guatam fields such unreasonable attacks from all the little people having tanties and trying to #StopAdani from digging & dealing away the Galilee Basin, Great Barrier Reef and global climate? To lend our succour in these hard times, BUMS* great CEO2 Coral Bleach has joined Gina and Guatam in a ‘Coaly Trinity’ of aggrieved fossil fuel billionaires.

Our CEO2 Coral Bleach and Attorney Lignite Pitt QC arguing our case on Level 42, 101 Collins Street. Naturally, everybody at Herbert Smith Freehills adored us and stopped everything to attend to our needs.

So, it’s official, we Coal Digger BUMS* are now formally seeking to retain a prestigious law firm to represent us in a claim for $666 billion in lost profits suffered as a direct consequence of ongoing government failure to address Coal Investile Dysfunction (“CID”). And where best to start but the impressive offices of leading prestigious global law firm Herbert Smith Freehills.

After interviewing prospects at Herbert Smith Freehills, Coral Bleach joined her mentors and fans as the Clean Coal Fairy wowed the crowd

You must know that “CID” is a pernicious and vile contagion that is sweeping global financial markets, thereby wiping out trillions in our rightful profits. We contend that the Magna Carta (on its proper construction) protects fossil fuel billionaires’ entitlement to ongoing compulsory contributions from Australian energy consumers and taxpayers and that this entitlement has been insufficiently protected by successive Australian governments.

Aren’t we an impressive bunch of non-hierarchical billionaire BUMS!

As our Attorney, Lignite Pitt QC of Bigend & Town Solicitors, will be arguing, it’s as a direct result of ongoing egregious governmental failures that elitist, leftant green energy alternatives (i.e. solar extractors on the roofs of mums & dads and wind exploiters in farmers’ fields) have been allowed to undermine the rightful position of coal and to grievously infringe our said entitlement to profits and subsidies. Such assaults on our effluence is plainly unAustralian and we contend that it ‘sounds in’ compensatory and punitive damages under the Investor State Dispute Settlement clauses of neoliberal international agreements that are intended to safeguard our naturally divined profits and effluence.

Isn’t it wonderful how the police drop everything for us billionaires even though we never pay our taxes

As our great leader Coral Bleach proudly identifies as one of the ‘Coaly Trinity’, and our case is compelling from both a legal and moral perspective, we have an expectation that “mates rates” will apply. Of course.

* Billionaires United Mining Services – a joint venture PPP (aka Protecting Private Profits) with Australia’s LNP Leaders and their financial backers.