BUMS Election Eve Blitz

BUMS Election Eve Blitz

  Here they are - Coral Bleach and The Coal Heads - at Parliament station standing up for BUMS, ahem, YOUR rightful rights and entitlements on the eve of Australia's Federal Election 2022!   Making sure that peeps don't be fooled by other peeps' FAKE NEWS*!...

COP26 Bridge to Zero Emissions Performance

COP26 Bridge to Zero Emissions Performance

Sunday, 31st October 2021, from 7pm to sunset in Melbourne (from 8am Glasgow, UK time)

A performed installation of newly created music to send a powerful message to United Nations delegates as they arrived for Day 1 of COP26 climate negotiations.

As dusk fell, seven Climate Guardians performed on Melbourne’s iconic Princes Bridge; one Angel for each of the Earth’s continents. Joining as Angels, composers/musicians Susan Bamford Caleo and Elissa Goodrich performed their specially created music arranged for Federation Handbells.

A Deadly Gas Grab

To mark World Environment Day 2021, we're challenging one of Australia's most polluting proposals - BHP & Woodside's Scarborough LNG project. Seriously dodgy carbon accounting practices are enabling fossil fuel companies to exempt emissions from projects that they...

Facts vs Falsehoods and other news

As challenging as well as deeply unfairly felt as lockdowns have been, COVID-19’s capacity to expose democracy’s diseases has been exceptional. At least it seems that a lot more people are seriously considering what the point is of: • leaders who wilfully ignore...

BUMS Stand Up for AGL!

What follows is BUMS official submission to this heinous Victorian Government Inquiry: 24 August 2020 Crib Point Inquiry and Advisory Committee Planning Panels Victoria SUBMISSION: Crib Point gas import jetty and gas pipeline project Dear Sir/Madam, This Inquiry is...

COALvid-19: “Hellscape” for Carbon Barons

In this leaked email from Coal Digger Coral Bleach to ScoMo, Aussie billionaire fossil fuel doyens plead for further massive public handouts.  Dearly Devoted ScoMo, We can't thank you and your fossil fuel friendly office enough for entrusting us with Australia's...

Urgent Message to COP25 Delegates: Time for Cooperative Agreements

As United Nations delegates were arriving for Day 1 of COP25 climate negotiations in Madrid, 624 pairs of hand cast clay skins from Bridget Nicholson’s Touch This Earth Lightly project lay in tight neat rows on the banks of the Yarra River opposite Federation Square...

BHP: Evolve Your Purpose

Dear Mr Henry, Congratulations on your new role as BHP's CEO. We feel encouraged by reports suggesting that you intend continuing BHP's progress in response to fast evolving community expectations that companies take responsibility for their impacts on communities and...

Here To Win Not Fight: IMARC Blockade for Climate Justice

Climate Guardians are immensely proud to have joined hundreds of courageous people from all walks of life—teachers, musicians, traditional custodians, doctors, writers, artists, labourers, nurses, academics and so on—at the recent IMARC (International Mining and...

Coal Diggers’ Landmark Claim against Mums, Dads and Farmers!

May 17, 2017

Here we are out the front of the prestigious 101 Collins Street tower with our fully automated, artificially intelligent Clean Coal Fairy. Our Coaly Trinity flyers went like hot cakes!

How could we just stand by while poor Gina is being picked on for suing Victorians for $2.7bn for not letting her local pet company, Lakes Oil, frack where it wants, and Guatam fields such unreasonable attacks from all the little people having tanties and trying to #StopAdani from digging & dealing away the Galilee Basin, Great Barrier Reef and global climate? To lend our succour in these hard times, BUMS* great CEO2 Coral Bleach has joined Gina and Guatam in a ‘Coaly Trinity’ of aggrieved fossil fuel billionaires.

Our CEO2 Coral Bleach and Attorney Lignite Pitt QC arguing our case on Level 42, 101 Collins Street. Naturally, everybody at Herbert Smith Freehills adored us and stopped everything to attend to our needs.

So, it’s official, we Coal Digger BUMS* are now formally seeking to retain a prestigious law firm to represent us in a claim for $666 billion in lost profits suffered as a direct consequence of ongoing government failure to address Coal Investile Dysfunction (“CID”). And where best to start but the impressive offices of leading prestigious global law firm Herbert Smith Freehills.

After interviewing prospects at Herbert Smith Freehills, Coral Bleach joined her mentors and fans as the Clean Coal Fairy wowed the crowd

You must know that “CID” is a pernicious and vile contagion that is sweeping global financial markets, thereby wiping out trillions in our rightful profits. We contend that the Magna Carta (on its proper construction) protects fossil fuel billionaires’ entitlement to ongoing compulsory contributions from Australian energy consumers and taxpayers and that this entitlement has been insufficiently protected by successive Australian governments.

Aren’t we an impressive bunch of non-hierarchical billionaire BUMS!

As our Attorney, Lignite Pitt QC of Bigend & Town Solicitors, will be arguing, it’s as a direct result of ongoing egregious governmental failures that elitist, leftant green energy alternatives (i.e. solar extractors on the roofs of mums & dads and wind exploiters in farmers’ fields) have been allowed to undermine the rightful position of coal and to grievously infringe our said entitlement to profits and subsidies. Such assaults on our effluence is plainly unAustralian and we contend that it ‘sounds in’ compensatory and punitive damages under the Investor State Dispute Settlement clauses of neoliberal international agreements that are intended to safeguard our naturally divined profits and effluence.

Isn’t it wonderful how the police drop everything for us billionaires even though we never pay our taxes

As our great leader Coral Bleach proudly identifies as one of the ‘Coaly Trinity’, and our case is compelling from both a legal and moral perspective, we have an expectation that “mates rates” will apply. Of course.

* Billionaires United Mining Services – a joint venture PPP (aka Protecting Private Profits) with Australia’s LNP Leaders and their financial backers.