Here they are - Coral Bleach and The Coal Heads - at Parliament station standing up for BUMS, ahem, YOUR rightful rights and entitlements on the eve of Australia's Federal Election 2022! Making sure that peeps don't be fooled by other peeps' FAKE NEWS*!...
COP26 Bridge to Zero Emissions Performance
Sunday, 31st October 2021, from 7pm to sunset in Melbourne (from 8am Glasgow, UK time)
A performed installation of newly created music to send a powerful message to United Nations delegates as they arrived for Day 1 of COP26 climate negotiations.
As dusk fell, seven Climate Guardians performed on Melbourne’s iconic Princes Bridge; one Angel for each of the Earth’s continents. Joining as Angels, composers/musicians Susan Bamford Caleo and Elissa Goodrich performed their specially created music arranged for Federation Handbells.
A Deadly Gas Grab
To mark World Environment Day 2021, we're challenging one of Australia's most polluting proposals - BHP & Woodside's Scarborough LNG project. Seriously dodgy carbon accounting practices are enabling fossil fuel companies to exempt emissions from projects that they...
Climate Guardians Visit Westernport’s Crib Point, Threatened by AGL’s Gas Import Project
Image courtesy of Julian Meehan As reported in The Mornington Peninsula News, Climate Guardians proudly joined concerned local citizens from Save Westernport at Crib Point’s Woolley’s Beach on Monday 22 February. Our visit was strategically timed to coincide with the...
Facts vs Falsehoods and other news
As challenging as well as deeply unfairly felt as lockdowns have been, COVID-19’s capacity to expose democracy’s diseases has been exceptional. At least it seems that a lot more people are seriously considering what the point is of: • leaders who wilfully ignore...
BUMS Stand Up for AGL!
What follows is BUMS official submission to this heinous Victorian Government Inquiry: 24 August 2020 Crib Point Inquiry and Advisory Committee Planning Panels Victoria SUBMISSION: Crib Point gas import jetty and gas pipeline project Dear Sir/Madam, This Inquiry is...
COALvid-19: “Hellscape” for Carbon Barons
In this leaked email from Coal Digger Coral Bleach to ScoMo, Aussie billionaire fossil fuel doyens plead for further massive public handouts. Dearly Devoted ScoMo, We can't thank you and your fossil fuel friendly office enough for entrusting us with Australia's...
Urgent Message to COP25 Delegates: Time for Cooperative Agreements
As United Nations delegates were arriving for Day 1 of COP25 climate negotiations in Madrid, 624 pairs of hand cast clay skins from Bridget Nicholson’s Touch This Earth Lightly project lay in tight neat rows on the banks of the Yarra River opposite Federation Square...
BHP: Evolve Your Purpose
Dear Mr Henry, Congratulations on your new role as BHP's CEO. We feel encouraged by reports suggesting that you intend continuing BHP's progress in response to fast evolving community expectations that companies take responsibility for their impacts on communities and...
Here To Win Not Fight: IMARC Blockade for Climate Justice
Climate Guardians are immensely proud to have joined hundreds of courageous people from all walks of life—teachers, musicians, traditional custodians, doctors, writers, artists, labourers, nurses, academics and so on—at the recent IMARC (International Mining and...
Coal Diggers Frack with Josh Frydenberg @Kooyong 200 Club
Coal Digger CO2 Coral Bleach and her daughter Bianca Bleach (who only tantrum threatens to sue when not snorting) joined Barnaby Coalala to raise $$$s at the exclusive (read secretive) Kooyong 200 Club. The BUMS* called on Josh Frydenberg to ignore the ideological green army’s outrageously discriminatory calls for Pollution Free Politics.
What: An Autumn brekkie Interception – https://www.kooyong200.com/events
When: from 6.45am, Friday 4 March 2016
Where: Main entrance, Hawthorn Town Hall, 360 Burwood Road, Hawthorn
The Coal Diggers are the most loyal supporters of special fundraising clubs like the Kooyong 200 Club that have squirrelled millions of dollars into the LNP’s coffers over more than a decade. How else could the BUMS conglomerate make highly secretive, political (aka self-serving) donations to their obedient political tools?
“We just adore that sweetie precious Josh Frydenberg. He’s always been suitably impressed with our effluence – drops everything to frack with us!” said Coral Bleach.
“And it’s time we found a suitable BUM for Bianca” added Ms Bleach.
“Early birds catch worms!” piped in Bianca, with signature sex appeal.
Acknowledging their gratitude for the billions they saved BUMS in taxes, the Coal Diggers admitted to having significant sitting issues with Clive’s PUPs. So as right succors for elite servants like Josh, the Coal Diggers have embarked on another novel game of democracy: the #KoalasForCoal micro party. After all, koalas can sit in their sleep and democracy works better for BUMS that way.
“Really we just do what we do to keep Aussie voters happy and entertained. Who wouldn’t wanna vote for a cute coal-addicted koala like me? I keep our economy on the right track, so to speak” said Barnaby Coalala, President and lead candidate for the recently launched #KoalasForCoal Party.
After Coral Bleach got a bit too fracky with her darlink Josh, BUMS servants from the Hawthorn police station came to settle down the Coal Party. Interestingly one of the gentleman in blue had heard about the ‘dodgy accounting’ of groups like the Kooyong 200 Club. Still, he couldn’t find grounds for arrests, phew.
“As the greatest benefactors of our rich Quarry Nation, we owe it to ourselves to protect our rightful profits,” insisted Ms Bleach with a sniffle of coal party particles.
And here’s a clip of Bianca musing over her billionaire miner husband prospects. It’s Worth noting that this footage was taken at a second entrance after the Hawthorn Town Hall’s main entrance was shut down due to ‘protesters’.
* Billionaires United Mining Services – a joint venture partnership Protecting Private Profits with Australia’s Federal govern-mint