Here they are - Coral Bleach and The Coal Heads - at Parliament station standing up for BUMS, ahem, YOUR rightful rights and entitlements on the eve of Australia's Federal Election 2022! Making sure that peeps don't be fooled by other peeps' FAKE NEWS*!...
Sunday, 31st October 2021, from 7pm to sunset in Melbourne (from 8am Glasgow, UK time)
A performed installation of newly created music to send a powerful message to United Nations delegates as they arrived for Day 1 of COP26 climate negotiations.
As dusk fell, seven Climate Guardians performed on Melbourne’s iconic Princes Bridge; one Angel for each of the Earth’s continents. Joining as Angels, composers/musicians Susan Bamford Caleo and Elissa Goodrich performed their specially created music arranged for Federation Handbells.
To mark World Environment Day 2021, we're challenging one of Australia's most polluting proposals - BHP & Woodside's Scarborough LNG project. Seriously dodgy carbon accounting practices are enabling fossil fuel companies to exempt emissions from projects that they...
Image courtesy of Julian Meehan As reported in The Mornington Peninsula News, Climate Guardians proudly joined concerned local citizens from Save Westernport at Crib Point’s Woolley’s Beach on Monday 22 February. Our visit was strategically timed to coincide with the...
As challenging as well as deeply unfairly felt as lockdowns have been, COVID-19’s capacity to expose democracy’s diseases has been exceptional. At least it seems that a lot more people are seriously considering what the point is of: • leaders who wilfully ignore...
What follows is BUMS official submission to this heinous Victorian Government Inquiry: 24 August 2020 Crib Point Inquiry and Advisory Committee Planning Panels Victoria SUBMISSION: Crib Point gas import jetty and gas pipeline project Dear Sir/Madam, This Inquiry is...
In this leaked email from Coal Digger Coral Bleach to ScoMo, Aussie billionaire fossil fuel doyens plead for further massive public handouts. Dearly Devoted ScoMo, We can't thank you and your fossil fuel friendly office enough for entrusting us with Australia's...
As United Nations delegates were arriving for Day 1 of COP25 climate negotiations in Madrid, 624 pairs of hand cast clay skins from Bridget Nicholson’s Touch This Earth Lightly project lay in tight neat rows on the banks of the Yarra River opposite Federation Square...
Dear Mr Henry, Congratulations on your new role as BHP's CEO. We feel encouraged by reports suggesting that you intend continuing BHP's progress in response to fast evolving community expectations that companies take responsibility for their impacts on communities and...
Climate Guardians are immensely proud to have joined hundreds of courageous people from all walks of life—teachers, musicians, traditional custodians, doctors, writers, artists, labourers, nurses, academics and so on—at the recent IMARC (International Mining and...
Pictured here with Gallilea Básîn, winner of the Mineral Beauty Fusion pageant’s Miss Coal Universe division
As always, the latest Institute of Public Affairs gala was a glorious occasion for us billionaire miners! We hobble-knobbled among corporate global giants including Texas Public Policy Foundation & Koch Brothers funded Chuck DeVore whose advice to the rapturous crowd of Aussies was, “here’s hoping that some day you too can find your Donald Trump!”
“Sweetie Precious don’t mind Donald, he can’t help himself!”
A euphorically coal-affected Coral Bleach kisses the entrance
Also among the mineral-atti were Gina Rinehart’s Lady in Waiting former federal LNP front bencher Sophie Mirabella, the former federal ALP Resources and Energy Minister turned fossil fuel lobbyist Martin Ferguson, the current Victorian LNP Shadow Treasurer and former Minister for Energy and Resources Michael O’Brien and Shadow Minister for Energy and Resources (and Renewables) David Southwick, as well as Victoria’s Earth Resources Regulation’s Bessie Abbott and former LNP Senator and neoliberal champion Rod Kemp.
“Do you like my lavalliere de dead coral & coal?” asks Coral Bleach
The Park Hyatt was a glittering under the pulchritudinous of Galilea Básîn, winner of Cachécoal’s Mineral Beauty Fusion Pageant’s Miss Coal Universe division
Upon arriving, effluent A-listers were greeted with a coalabratory carbon poetry slam featuring our very own ‘Our Profits’, which was greatly (as Donald would say) inspired by Gina’s epic ‘universe’s worst poem’.
Coral Bleach reciting lines from ‘Our Profits”: “Billionaires are sadly groaning from Coal Investile Dysfunction
This vile contagion is spreading around the globe, an epidemic out of control” (see full poem below)
Before long aspiring billionaire miner police officers joined the gathering, captivated by the billionaire miners unique coalture.
“That’s right officer, we’re a non-hierarchical bunch of billionaire miners”
We’re beyond proud to present our special coaltry (or possibly poaltry?)
Our Profits
Billionaires are sadly groaning from Coal Investile Dysfunction
This vile contagion is spreading around the globe, an epidemic out of control
Billions in our rightful profits are threatened as our visa workers are left to ponder
Solar panels are swamping our shores wreaking chaos, threatening our economy
Giant wind turbines are generating ferocious storms, threatening our bounty
That much a blind man could see, we must secure our booty!
But on this special night we celebrate our giant quarries, our minerals that delight
You can see for yourself the magic we do with sacred sites!
Think of all the ancient souls liberated from eternal substrata entrapment
So forget your Great Barrier Reef, our plans for Uluru will astound you!
Just give us your soils and souls
Relax now Aussies, know that you can trust us to do the heavy lifting
Before it is too late!
This security guard couldn’t keep his eyes off Coral Bleach’s Great Barrier Reef keepsake of dead coral & coal