REPORT: Billionaire Coal Diggers’ Fight for Life and Dignity!

As recent events confirm, these are desperate times and desperate times call for desperate measures! If BUMS* and our fossil fuel billionaire chums lose control over power generation, then billions in rightful coal profits are at stake and the world as we know it may...

Responding to treacherous announcement re free solar extractors

Responding to treacherous announcement re free solar extractors

BREAKING: On behalf of BUMS*, Coral Bleach and Lignite Pitt QC are seeking legal advice to challenge the Victorian state government's massive rooftop solar power scheme on the grounds that it undermines their legacy control over power. "It's a reckless and selfish...

Naming Rights for Gina Now: Re-launching The IPA @ABC!

Naming Rights for Gina Now: Re-launching The IPA @ABC!

  Today Coral Bleach and her high flying BUMS* entourage—including Our Gina, Our Mitch (Minister for Billionaires Communications), Our Rupie (Emperor of Our Media Empire), Our Vanessa (Chief of the Minerals Council of Australia and already on ABC’s Board thanks to Our...

#ArtNotEcocide

#ArtNotEcocide

Do you think it's reasonable for people with long histories of influencing public policies in order to prop up the profits of highly destructive industries to hold prestigious positions on boards and special committees of our nation’s proudest cultural institutions?...

THURSDAY 15 MARCH 2018

IPCC cities conference tackles gaps between science and climate action on the ground https://theconversation.com/ipcc-cities-conference-tackles-gaps-between-science-and-climate-action-on-the-ground-93287 Eastern Mediterranean summer will be two months longer by end of...

A cultural activist at COP23, Bonn

I am sitting in a café at the top of a department store in the middle of Bonn, Germany. I’m here for the coffee, free Wi-Fi and easy access to a toilet. The simple needs of a traveller. It’s early in the day and people, mostly older people, are gathered in small...

Only One Earth

Only One Earth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZLo8YUPHN4 Given the converging crisis we face—as evidenced by extreme weather conditions everywhere and horrifying rates of species loss—all polluting industries must now take full responsibility for halting their greenhouse gas...

Force for Sustainable Progress or Tool for Tyrants?

Force for Sustainable Progress or Tool for Tyrants?

As the US was reeling from unprecedented hurricanes, Climate Guardians hand delivered scrolls with universal messages to Silicon Valley. In our travels we had many conversations with curious passersby. We discussed the insidious and predatory ways in which profit...

Magicoal Pudding

Magicoal Pudding

Oh that Sweetie Alan Finkel, what a Sorcerer he is! While our people in high places combust over particulates in the Finkel Review’s Clean Energy Target, we Coal Diggers are secretly delighted! For, in line with our expertant submission, there’s to be no more...

Coal Diggers’ Landmark Claim against Mums, Dads and Farmers!

Coal Diggers’ Landmark Claim against Mums, Dads and Farmers!

How could we just stand by while poor Gina is being picked on for suing Victorians for $2.7bn for not letting her local pet company, Lakes Oil, frack where it wants, and Guatam fields such unreasonable attacks from all the little people having tanties and trying to...

Your Taxes @ Work

Mar 6, 2017

Bff Australian Broadcasting COALition captains Michelle & Vanessa Guthrie

Bff Australian Broadcasting COALture captains Michelle & Vanessa Guthrie

Backed by neo-heavyweights, including BUMS* CEO2 Coral Bleach, Michelle & Vanessa Guthrie (no relation) have united on the ABC’s board to usher in a new era of ‘balance’ from the public broadcaster!

Ever since Ruppie’s daddy Keith helped found the Institute of Public Affairs (IPA) and the LNP way back in the day—more than 70 years ago!— Coal Diggers have longed to be the guardians of Australia’s trusted public broadcaster. They just love playing with microphones! And given their role in preserving ‘jobs, jobs, jobs and growth’ in Australia’s prostrated coaltural heartland, Coal Diggers are after all fully entitled to not pay taxes or for advertising.

Rebranding the ABC: Australian Broadcasting COALition

Rebranding the ABC: Australian Broadcasting COALition

Thus, t’was indeed a triumph when the Turnbull government overruled that pesky independent selection panel to appoint Vanessa Guthrie— chairwoman of the Minerals Council of Australia to ABC’s board.

ABC board heavyweights Michelle & Vanessa Guthrie (soul sistas, no relation)

ABC board heavyweights Michelle & Vanessa Guthrie (soul sistas, no relation)

Thanks to the Coal Diggers, Australians will now fund and enjoy endless images of their leaders lovingly fondling lumps of coal in parliament while being force fed fossil fuel industry spin about renewable energy’s alleged role in causing blackouts. And for the kiddies, they’ll like so dig the soon to be released Hey Clean-Coal Fairy clip, adapted—with mineral intervention (oops minimal! 😘 )—from Wiggles’ classic Hey There Wally!

Community minded BUMS help ABC broadcasters learn to love coal too!

Community minded BUMS help ABC broadcasters learn to love coal too!

Hey Clean-Coal Fairy, you’ve got to save our BUMS!

Clean-Coal, Clean-Coal, Clean-Coal, Clean-Coal Fairy, clean that carbon outa coal

You’ve got to make coal sparkle green

Just keep on a’ digging and’a dealing

Your wand keeps going round in circles, so BUMS stay super rich!

 

Hey Clean-Coal Fairy, you’ve got to save our BUMS!

Clean-Coal, Clean-Coal, Clean-Coal, Clean-Coal Fairy, keep waving your wand

You gotta be a great musician, yeas, aah, if only

Gotta wave your magic wand

Oh yea clean our coal, so BUMS stay super rich!

 

Hey Clean-Coal Fairy, you’re gotta be a great magician

You gotta clean that carbon outa coal

No, no, no, you’re gonna be the best magician

Yeah, ha, ha, ha, the best magician in the world

Ladies and Gentleman, introducing Clean-Coal Fairy, the best

Magician that ever lived, totes bff to billionaires,

Hey, Magician we mean, ha ha ha ha ha

No, no autographs, no please, stand back, no no, ha ha

You might find out her secrets, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha

Remember magic isn’t magic when you know how it’s done

Hee hee, weeeeeeee

And now for Fairy’s first trick, Ahhh, thya, thya, oh that’s right

First taxpayers pay our BUMS!

* Billionaires United Mining Services – a joint venture PPP (aka Protecting Private Profits) with Australia’s LNP Leaders

 

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