Clean Water Be Dammed, Burn the Renewable Energy Heretics!
The Frackers’ Guild goes back to the year 1033AD to the time when there was a brisk trade in biblical relics and Saint’s body parts. These ‘resurrectionists’ have been digging up the earth for centuries in the name of science, to prove the truth of biblical events such as the Great Flood. They profit from disinterring relics from Noah’s Arc, and body parts from Saints. Now we have proof that the Saints farted: Coal Seam Gas!
Finally, they’ve found someone else fighting a similar battle – the Gas industry that also wants to disembowel every square inch of the earth’s surface, for its brisk trade also in decomposing organic matter. The Frackers’ Guild is keen to work together, to strategise, and join forces against the evil conspiracy of Renewable Energy that threatens both our profits.
We proudly join the Gas industry in shunning scientific studies showing that the use and disposal of large volumes of chemical-laden fracking water could contaminate water tables and trigger earthquakes, and that far greater emissions of methane (typically 85 to 90 per cent of natural gas) may be being released into the atmosphere than suspected.[1] Who cares if methane has a far more potent affect than CO2 in the atmosphere, when viewed over a twenty-year time span? Life was fabulous in the Medieval Warming Period, frack away we say!
Learn the timeless art of substrata profiteering from one of our leading scholars: Adjunct Fractious of the Universitas of Apocolyptia, Emeritus Enseaminatus of the Universitas of Cataclysm, Chancellor Gaseous of the Universitas of Armageddon, and Vice-Chancellor Carbonaceous of the Universitas of Annihilationa
[1] http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=fracking-‐would-‐emit-‐methane