Inspired by a genuine desire to properly acknowledge and honour the mentors and minions who do the most to enable Aussie Coal Diggers’ uniquely entitled ‘way of life’, as well as to warn ordinary citizens of grave dangers to safety and security from...
Digging Deeper: Secrets of the Neo-COALonial Movement Unearthed! live on stage
Digging Deeper is a satirical exploration of the ties between billionaires, dictators, aggressive 'fake news' assaults on democracy and human and environmental abuse. None of that is at all funny, but this show is! Revealing the forces behind Australia’s 20-year war...
‘What Lies Beneath’
It was a great privilege for the Climate Guardians to help launch Janet Laurence: After Nature at the Museum of Contemporary Art Australia (MCA) in Sydney on the last official day of Australia’s “unprecedented” Summer of 2019*. For nearly 40 years Janet has explored...
Youth climate strikers: ‘We are going to change the fate of humanity’
Youth climate strikers: 'We are going to change the fate of humanity' Students issue an open letter ahead of global day of action on 15 March, when young people are expected to strike across 50 nations...
Trolls, taxes and trust: a call for action on digital platforms
Introduction by Croakey Editor Marie McInerney. This submission is in response to the preliminary report released by the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission’s (ACCC) as part of its critical Inquiry into Digital Platforms held in 2019. As our previous...
A resounding mandate to properly clean up Victoria’s economy
Dear Daniel Andrews and Team, We wholeheartedly congratulate you All for your win. Your determined progressive policies to transition our economy away from dirty and wasteful energy systems to clean and renewable power, and investment in long neglected public...
#ExtinctionRebellion: a movement goes global
"We refuse to bequeath a dying planet to future generations by failing to act now. We act in peace, with ferocious love of these lands in our hearts. We act on behalf of life." — #ExtinctionRebellion Strategically timed to help support the global day of climate action...
BOAA Performance: ‘Visitation to Lake Wendouree’
It was a great pleasure and privilege for the Climate Guardians to perform at the inaugural Biennale of Australian Art (BOAA, until 6 Nov) and to contribute to the Art and Activism public discussion last weekend. Presenting the work of 150 artists, showing more than...
Coral Bleach: Queen of Global Neo-COALonial Movement
It was World Threatened Species Day, which resonated deeply with us Coal Diggers given the mounting, grave threats we face from the lefty-greenie-driven global uptake of solar and wind extractors! 🌞🌀 Determined to protect our specie’s way of life...
REPORT: Billionaire Coal Diggers’ Fight for Life and Dignity!
As recent events confirm, these are desperate times and desperate times call for desperate measures! If BUMS* and our fossil fuel billionaire chums lose control over power generation, then billions in rightful coal profits are at stake and the world as we know it may...
COALvid-19: “Hellscape” for Carbon Barons
In this leaked email from Coal Digger Coral Bleach to ScoMo, Aussie billionaire fossil fuel doyens plead for further massive public handouts.
Dearly Devoted ScoMo,
We can’t thank you and your fossil fuel friendly office enough for entrusting us with Australia’s economy. Free from democratic constraints and any other green tape, our National Coalvid Coordination Commission (NCCC, starring us 🤩) is drilling down even deeper thanks to all that lovely taxpayers’ money! No virus (or science or economics etc) will stop our turbo fracking!
While Saudi Arabia and Russia were feuding over oil and gas prices – stranding swollen tankers, decimating supply chains and collapsing market confidence in our carbon economy – we Aussie diggers have stolen the prize as The World’s Biggest Fossil Fuels Digger & Dealer!
As you say ScoMo, ‘How Good is Australia’!
But ScoMo mate, beneath our cheers are fears and tears! As market analysts (with reports with nasty names) are showing, carbon share prices had virtually halved during the decade prior to COALvid-19! That’s right, PRIOR to this carbon demand bashing pandemic.
Even with JobKeeper loopholes for billionaires, we’re literally facing collapse!
And all the while, solar and wind extractors have been stealthily invading our market territory, eroding our super profits and generally creating a ‘hellscape’ for us BUMS*!
Amid global calls to ‘build back better’, and for a ‘Great Reset’, we urge you to stand strong with us ScoMo! Don’t give in to the latte sipping, smashed avocado eating greenest alarmists – bring on more fossil fuel subsidies mate!
Don’t forget Who’s Who in Australia! We know you can deliver!
Yours Forever Effluently,
Ms Coral Bleach
CEO2 Billionaires United Mining Services* (BUMS)
ccd to NCCC via your Department of the Prime Minister and Cabinet
PS: BUMS’ political donation on account of the Government’s great work (nudge nudge wink 😉💰!) is in the coal sack that our man servant threw over the walls of Kirribilli House last night.