Coal Diggers (BUMS)

Here we are ruling the footpath on the way to a very important meeting with Josh Frydenberg, Minister for the Environment and some such

Beyond enviably effluent—under the direction of BUMS* CEO2 Coral Bleach—Coal Diggers are world famous prospectors in the Mineral/Beauty Fusion Industry and top-shelf COALition groupies.  Whether or not global worming is or isn’t ‘absolute crap’ or does or doesn’t have any links to climate variability and bushfires, they see opportunities to invest in people’s paranoia and real or imagined suffering.

The Cachecoal Logo

Also trading off people’s paranoias around aging, they have designed a range of products, Cachécoal, a uniquely Aussie epidermal geo-engineering wonder that miraculously sequinstrates organic, mineral rich ‘carbons of youth’ directly into the pores, thereby solving the global worming emergency and saving civilization. So convinced of their uniquely Aussie epidermal geoengineering products, the BUMS offer a money back guarantee✥.

Unrivalled twerkers of the Disco Queen era, the Coal Diggers also sideline in dealing Coke–ing Coal, which is not only legal it’s Govern-Mint subsidized.

Coal Diggers twerking at their al fresco salon during City of Ballarat’s Interventions festival

Since Billionaire Coal Diggers love dressing up as workers, they’ve released their very own signature fashion range; Coal Chic. It’s inspired by their mentor Gina Rhinamine and her ‘mates’ in government (who also love to dress up as a workers) and is aptly branded BUMS. It features Disco-bling hard hats and appliquéd high-vis vests as their centre-pieces.

Cooking with Coal & Gas Poster

Latest Coal Diggers Ventures – Our Carbon Kitchen Rules

For mineral rich loving foodies, the Coal Diggers also created a haute cuisine cookbook Cooking with Coal & Gas: Recipes for Disaster! Dishes to die for include Coal q’au Vin as featured on ‘our carbon kitchen rules’.

Look out for the Coal Diggers as the next headline act at the celebrated Diggers & Dealers ball. They usually get a dink on Tony’s bike and can be found lining up party particles on the COALition’s table.

The Deputy Prime Minister seals with a handshake being sold a PUP by the Coal Diggers

With their BFFs in parliament, nothing can hold the Coal Diggers back!

The Coal Diggers host a Laborals #VoteCoal Party on the steps of Parliament early on the Friday before Victorian State election, November 2014

*Billionaires United Mining Services, a conglomerate of interlinkaged peak body think tanks and public policy wonky groups devoted to unlimited substrata profiteering

✥redeemable after 2050

Coal Digger Compact Disc (CD cd) Hits include:

A BUMS version of The Age of Aquarius and Australia’s national anthem will be released shortly

Here we are at BHP, our headquarters & spiritual home

 

Having sealed a venture partnership with ANZ over the Whitehaven mine

Having sealed a venture partnership with ANZ over the Whitehaven mine

BUMS, Billionaires United Mining Services at ANZ

BUMS, Billionaires United Mining Services at ANZ

A celebratory snort of Coke-ing Coal after our new business venture with ANZ

A celebratory snort of Coke-ing Coal after our new business venture with ANZ

German Tourists try to tells us renewable energy is better that digging up coal. How do you make money from renewables we ask

German Tourists try to tells us renewable energy is better that digging up coal. How do you make money from renewables we ask

 

The Coal Diggers celebrate their takeover of BhP Billiton with a line of Coke -ing Coal.

The Coal Diggers celebrate their takeover of BhP Billiton with a line of Coke -ing Coal.

A Coal Digger Selfie with delicately lined nostrils.

A Coal Digger Selfie with delicately lined nostrils.

The Coal Diggers rescue and endangered tiger economy

The Coal Diggers rescue an endangered tiger economy

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