Updated – Climate Guardians Engie HQ Visitation

Updated – Climate Guardians Engie HQ Visitation

Press Release Thursday 10th December 2015 For immediate release. A flock of Climate Guardian Angels from Australia descended on Engie’s head office in Paris to decry the corporation’s appalling treatment of Victoria’s Latrobe Valley community and their environment....

Bonjour COP21 Paris!

It’s wonderful to be here in Paris—the City of Love & Light—for COP21. Signage about the UN conference from Monday 30 November until Friday 11 December is everywhere. So are police and gendarmes patrolling the streets and metros following the horrific terrorist...

Singing The Climate Blues

See Angel Harriet Ripley singing an acclimatized version of the blues anthem Summertime: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDX7K6oB35w and an acclimatized version of Skinny Love: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PB4e2nUHr8

It’s official, Climate Guardians to perform in ArtCOP21!

It’s official, Climate Guardians to perform in ArtCOP21!

Climate Guardians are thrilled to be performing in Paris as part of ArtCOP21, an exceptional global climate festival connecting hundreds of thousands of people rising to the climate challenge. ArtCOP21 hosts an extensive global programme of over 180 major public art...

How to make your own DIY angel wings

How to make your own DIY angel wings

Anyone can adopt Angel symbolism to make a visual demand for climate justice:   To make it easier for others to undertake their own Climate Guardian actions, Zoe and her friend have developed a prototype set of wings that are durable and light-weight and can...

Climate Guardian Angels to Descend on the Paris COP21 Talks

Climate Guardian Angels to Descend on the Paris COP21 Talks

The announcement of Australia’s 26% emissions reduction target based on 2005 levels by the Federal government has incited the Climate Guardians to travel at their own expense to the Paris COP21 climate talks to express Australians’ widespread frustration at our...

Submission to the Inquiry into Unconventional Gas in Victoria

Submission to the Inquiry into Unconventional Gas in Victoria

Thank you for the opportunity to provide a submission regarding this important issue. Unconventional gas is a fossil fuel that is extracted through fracking (a layperson’s term for hydraulic fracturing), a process of fracturing rocks to allow collection of oil and...

Wings of Desire – Help The Climate Guardians Stay Elevated

Wings of Desire – Help The Climate Guardians Stay Elevated

We have planned a special treat for everyone to come along and join us for our fundraiser! Wings of Desire - Help The Climate Guardians Stay Elevated is to help with a stack of expenses that have mounted up over the 2 years we've been working on the campaign -...

Coal Diggers’ Landmark Claim against Mums, Dads and Farmers!

May 17, 2017

Here we are out the front of the prestigious 101 Collins Street tower with our fully automated, artificially intelligent Clean Coal Fairy. Our Coaly Trinity flyers went like hot cakes!

How could we just stand by while poor Gina is being picked on for suing Victorians for $2.7bn for not letting her local pet company, Lakes Oil, frack where it wants, and Guatam fields such unreasonable attacks from all the little people having tanties and trying to #StopAdani from digging & dealing away the Galilee Basin, Great Barrier Reef and global climate? To lend our succour in these hard times, BUMS* great CEO2 Coral Bleach has joined Gina and Guatam in a ‘Coaly Trinity’ of aggrieved fossil fuel billionaires.

Our CEO2 Coral Bleach and Attorney Lignite Pitt QC arguing our case on Level 42, 101 Collins Street. Naturally, everybody at Herbert Smith Freehills adored us and stopped everything to attend to our needs.

So, it’s official, we Coal Digger BUMS* are now formally seeking to retain a prestigious law firm to represent us in a claim for $666 billion in lost profits suffered as a direct consequence of ongoing government failure to address Coal Investile Dysfunction (“CID”). And where best to start but the impressive offices of leading prestigious global law firm Herbert Smith Freehills.

After interviewing prospects at Herbert Smith Freehills, Coral Bleach joined her mentors and fans as the Clean Coal Fairy wowed the crowd

You must know that “CID” is a pernicious and vile contagion that is sweeping global financial markets, thereby wiping out trillions in our rightful profits. We contend that the Magna Carta (on its proper construction) protects fossil fuel billionaires’ entitlement to ongoing compulsory contributions from Australian energy consumers and taxpayers and that this entitlement has been insufficiently protected by successive Australian governments.

Aren’t we an impressive bunch of non-hierarchical billionaire BUMS!

As our Attorney, Lignite Pitt QC of Bigend & Town Solicitors, will be arguing, it’s as a direct result of ongoing egregious governmental failures that elitist, leftant green energy alternatives (i.e. solar extractors on the roofs of mums & dads and wind exploiters in farmers’ fields) have been allowed to undermine the rightful position of coal and to grievously infringe our said entitlement to profits and subsidies. Such assaults on our effluence is plainly unAustralian and we contend that it ‘sounds in’ compensatory and punitive damages under the Investor State Dispute Settlement clauses of neoliberal international agreements that are intended to safeguard our naturally divined profits and effluence.

Isn’t it wonderful how the police drop everything for us billionaires even though we never pay our taxes

As our great leader Coral Bleach proudly identifies as one of the ‘Coaly Trinity’, and our case is compelling from both a legal and moral perspective, we have an expectation that “mates rates” will apply. Of course.

* Billionaires United Mining Services – a joint venture PPP (aka Protecting Private Profits) with Australia’s LNP Leaders and their financial backers.