From Paris to the Pilliga

At 3.15am on Tuesday 9 February we scrambled out of bed in time to meet other ‘climate angels’ from the Pilliga Push camp on the Newell Highway 6kms northwards. From there it was about a 45-minute drive to Santos’ Narrabri Gas Project that is constructing 850 coal...

#Breakfree2016

  Heralding the start of a global wave of resistance to keep coal, oil & gas in the ground, on the eve of Mother's Day 2016 in the hottest year in recorded history, flocks of Climate Guardian Mother-Angels descended on the offices of Federal Ministers for...

#KeepYourPromise: reduce Australia’s emissions now

The Climate Guardians had a wonderful time on Sunday meeting both young people and caring grown ups at Templestowe College’s Sustainability Festival. We chose this inspiring community occasion to officially launch our #KeepYourPromise campaign, which demands that...

Coal Diggers Frack with Josh Frydenberg @Kooyong 200 Club

Coal Digger CO2 Coral Bleach and her daughter Bianca Bleach (who only tantrum threatens to sue when not snorting) joined Barnaby Coalala to raise $$$s at the exclusive (read secretive) Kooyong 200 Club. The BUMS* called on Josh Frydenberg to ignore the ideological...

#AngelPost

Of all of the incredible and unforgettable actions taken in Paris during COP21, the Climate Guardians’ experiences delivering messages on behalf of Australian children were highlights. Here and in France, not a single person has failed to be moved by the poignancy of...

Angels Arrested at Pilliga Blockade

See coverage and videos here: http://www.northerndailyleader.com.au/story/3715013/where-climate-guardian-angels-didnt-fear-to-tread/

2016: Organised and Armed

2016: Organised and Armed

Of COP21, James Hansen, NASA’s former chief climatologist, said: “It’s a fraud really, a fake. It’s just bullshit for them to say: ‘We’ll have a 2C warming target and then try to do a little better every five years.’ It’s just worthless words. There is no action, just...

2015: Reflections

2015: Reflections

2015 was a big year for the Climate Guardians, especially with our big adventure in Paris for the international UN climate summit COP21 in November and December. We are still going through all of the memories and images that have been created, but in the meantime here...

Who Wants Dirty Coal for Christmas?

Early on Christmas Eve 2015 Santa and a bevy of pin-up elves got stuck on the Minister Who Stole Christmas' rooftop  Santa and his elves have got stuck on the Minister for the Environment, Greg Hunt’s, rooftop to protest his approval of the Abbot Point coal port. Just...

Coal Diggers’ Landmark Claim against Mums, Dads and Farmers!

May 17, 2017

Here we are out the front of the prestigious 101 Collins Street tower with our fully automated, artificially intelligent Clean Coal Fairy. Our Coaly Trinity flyers went like hot cakes!

How could we just stand by while poor Gina is being picked on for suing Victorians for $2.7bn for not letting her local pet company, Lakes Oil, frack where it wants, and Guatam fields such unreasonable attacks from all the little people having tanties and trying to #StopAdani from digging & dealing away the Galilee Basin, Great Barrier Reef and global climate? To lend our succour in these hard times, BUMS* great CEO2 Coral Bleach has joined Gina and Guatam in a ‘Coaly Trinity’ of aggrieved fossil fuel billionaires.

Our CEO2 Coral Bleach and Attorney Lignite Pitt QC arguing our case on Level 42, 101 Collins Street. Naturally, everybody at Herbert Smith Freehills adored us and stopped everything to attend to our needs.

So, it’s official, we Coal Digger BUMS* are now formally seeking to retain a prestigious law firm to represent us in a claim for $666 billion in lost profits suffered as a direct consequence of ongoing government failure to address Coal Investile Dysfunction (“CID”). And where best to start but the impressive offices of leading prestigious global law firm Herbert Smith Freehills.

After interviewing prospects at Herbert Smith Freehills, Coral Bleach joined her mentors and fans as the Clean Coal Fairy wowed the crowd

You must know that “CID” is a pernicious and vile contagion that is sweeping global financial markets, thereby wiping out trillions in our rightful profits. We contend that the Magna Carta (on its proper construction) protects fossil fuel billionaires’ entitlement to ongoing compulsory contributions from Australian energy consumers and taxpayers and that this entitlement has been insufficiently protected by successive Australian governments.

Aren’t we an impressive bunch of non-hierarchical billionaire BUMS!

As our Attorney, Lignite Pitt QC of Bigend & Town Solicitors, will be arguing, it’s as a direct result of ongoing egregious governmental failures that elitist, leftant green energy alternatives (i.e. solar extractors on the roofs of mums & dads and wind exploiters in farmers’ fields) have been allowed to undermine the rightful position of coal and to grievously infringe our said entitlement to profits and subsidies. Such assaults on our effluence is plainly unAustralian and we contend that it ‘sounds in’ compensatory and punitive damages under the Investor State Dispute Settlement clauses of neoliberal international agreements that are intended to safeguard our naturally divined profits and effluence.

Isn’t it wonderful how the police drop everything for us billionaires even though we never pay our taxes

As our great leader Coral Bleach proudly identifies as one of the ‘Coaly Trinity’, and our case is compelling from both a legal and moral perspective, we have an expectation that “mates rates” will apply. Of course.

* Billionaires United Mining Services – a joint venture PPP (aka Protecting Private Profits) with Australia’s LNP Leaders and their financial backers.