REPORT: Billionaire Coal Diggers’ Fight for Life and Dignity!

As recent events confirm, these are desperate times and desperate times call for desperate measures! If BUMS* and our fossil fuel billionaire chums lose control over power generation, then billions in rightful coal profits are at stake and the world as we know it may...

Responding to treacherous announcement re free solar extractors

Responding to treacherous announcement re free solar extractors

BREAKING: On behalf of BUMS*, Coral Bleach and Lignite Pitt QC are seeking legal advice to challenge the Victorian state government's massive rooftop solar power scheme on the grounds that it undermines their legacy control over power. "It's a reckless and selfish...

Naming Rights for Gina Now: Re-launching The IPA @ABC!

Naming Rights for Gina Now: Re-launching The IPA @ABC!

  Today Coral Bleach and her high flying BUMS* entourage—including Our Gina, Our Mitch (Minister for Billionaires Communications), Our Rupie (Emperor of Our Media Empire), Our Vanessa (Chief of the Minerals Council of Australia and already on ABC’s Board thanks to Our...

#ArtNotEcocide

#ArtNotEcocide

Do you think it's reasonable for people with long histories of influencing public policies in order to prop up the profits of highly destructive industries to hold prestigious positions on boards and special committees of our nation’s proudest cultural institutions?...

THURSDAY 15 MARCH 2018

IPCC cities conference tackles gaps between science and climate action on the ground https://theconversation.com/ipcc-cities-conference-tackles-gaps-between-science-and-climate-action-on-the-ground-93287 Eastern Mediterranean summer will be two months longer by end of...

A cultural activist at COP23, Bonn

I am sitting in a café at the top of a department store in the middle of Bonn, Germany. I’m here for the coffee, free Wi-Fi and easy access to a toilet. The simple needs of a traveller. It’s early in the day and people, mostly older people, are gathered in small...

Only One Earth

Only One Earth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZLo8YUPHN4 Given the converging crisis we face—as evidenced by extreme weather conditions everywhere and horrifying rates of species loss—all polluting industries must now take full responsibility for halting their greenhouse gas...

Force for Sustainable Progress or Tool for Tyrants?

Force for Sustainable Progress or Tool for Tyrants?

As the US was reeling from unprecedented hurricanes, Climate Guardians hand delivered scrolls with universal messages to Silicon Valley. In our travels we had many conversations with curious passersby. We discussed the insidious and predatory ways in which profit...

Magicoal Pudding

Magicoal Pudding

Oh that Sweetie Alan Finkel, what a Sorcerer he is! While our people in high places combust over particulates in the Finkel Review’s Clean Energy Target, we Coal Diggers are secretly delighted! For, in line with our expertant submission, there’s to be no more...

BUMS High Rank Submission to Climate Change Review 2017

BUMS High Rank Submission to Climate Change Review 2017

5 May 2017 Climate Change Policies Review - Discussion Paper submissions 2017 Review Branch Department of the Environment and Energy GPO Box 787 Canberra ACT 2601 Via: climatechangereview@environment.gov.au Submission to: Climate Change Review 2017 Global worming (or,...

Coal Diggers’ Landmark Claim against Mums, Dads and Farmers!

May 17, 2017

Here we are out the front of the prestigious 101 Collins Street tower with our fully automated, artificially intelligent Clean Coal Fairy. Our Coaly Trinity flyers went like hot cakes!

How could we just stand by while poor Gina is being picked on for suing Victorians for $2.7bn for not letting her local pet company, Lakes Oil, frack where it wants, and Guatam fields such unreasonable attacks from all the little people having tanties and trying to #StopAdani from digging & dealing away the Galilee Basin, Great Barrier Reef and global climate? To lend our succour in these hard times, BUMS* great CEO2 Coral Bleach has joined Gina and Guatam in a ‘Coaly Trinity’ of aggrieved fossil fuel billionaires.

Our CEO2 Coral Bleach and Attorney Lignite Pitt QC arguing our case on Level 42, 101 Collins Street. Naturally, everybody at Herbert Smith Freehills adored us and stopped everything to attend to our needs.

So, it’s official, we Coal Digger BUMS* are now formally seeking to retain a prestigious law firm to represent us in a claim for $666 billion in lost profits suffered as a direct consequence of ongoing government failure to address Coal Investile Dysfunction (“CID”). And where best to start but the impressive offices of leading prestigious global law firm Herbert Smith Freehills.

After interviewing prospects at Herbert Smith Freehills, Coral Bleach joined her mentors and fans as the Clean Coal Fairy wowed the crowd

You must know that “CID” is a pernicious and vile contagion that is sweeping global financial markets, thereby wiping out trillions in our rightful profits. We contend that the Magna Carta (on its proper construction) protects fossil fuel billionaires’ entitlement to ongoing compulsory contributions from Australian energy consumers and taxpayers and that this entitlement has been insufficiently protected by successive Australian governments.

Aren’t we an impressive bunch of non-hierarchical billionaire BUMS!

As our Attorney, Lignite Pitt QC of Bigend & Town Solicitors, will be arguing, it’s as a direct result of ongoing egregious governmental failures that elitist, leftant green energy alternatives (i.e. solar extractors on the roofs of mums & dads and wind exploiters in farmers’ fields) have been allowed to undermine the rightful position of coal and to grievously infringe our said entitlement to profits and subsidies. Such assaults on our effluence is plainly unAustralian and we contend that it ‘sounds in’ compensatory and punitive damages under the Investor State Dispute Settlement clauses of neoliberal international agreements that are intended to safeguard our naturally divined profits and effluence.

Isn’t it wonderful how the police drop everything for us billionaires even though we never pay our taxes

As our great leader Coral Bleach proudly identifies as one of the ‘Coaly Trinity’, and our case is compelling from both a legal and moral perspective, we have an expectation that “mates rates” will apply. Of course.

* Billionaires United Mining Services – a joint venture PPP (aka Protecting Private Profits) with Australia’s LNP Leaders and their financial backers.