Frackers’ Guild Joins Forces with the Gas Industry

Frackers’ Guild Joins Forces with the Gas Industry

Clean Water Be Dammed, Burn the Renewable Energy Heretics! The Frackers’ Guild goes back to the year 1033AD to the time when there was a brisk trade in biblical relics and Saint’s body parts. These ‘resurrectionists’ have been digging up the earth for centuries in the...

Coal Diggers Launch New Cookbook

Coal Diggers Launch New Cookbook

The Coal Diggers - Coral Bleach and Hazel Wood launched their new book 'Cooking with Coal & Gas: Recipes for Disaster', at a champaign breakfast the morning before the Victorian State Election 2014. ‬ The Coal Diggers will frack with everyone. During the election...

Anglesea Visitation

Anglesea Visitation

The Climate Guardians were invited by the lovely people of Anglesea to visit the horrible Anglesea Power Station today. A disgrace that this heavily polluting facility is located so close to a primary school and the homes of residents.   Anglesea is the third...

G20 Climate Guardian Angels

G20 Climate Guardian Angels

At the G20 in Brisbane (15 Nov 2014) our Prime Minister turned his back on the future by declaring his loyalty to coal. As the world forms a global village of climate actors Tony Abbot stood forth as its idiot. He hosted a forum of world leaders and not only failed to...

Carbon Price Repeal Legislation

Carbon Price Repeal Legislation

The Climate Guardians portend the danger of the Carbon Price Repeal Legislation at Parliament House Canberra under a bank of ominous cloud.

Climate Guardians Portending

Climate Guardians Portending

"The floor of the House of Representatives might seem light years from the vaulted skies of our planet’s atmosphere but our Parliamentarians must put on record how they will answer their children and grandchildren when they ask at climate departure, ‘what did you do...

The Coal Diggers Seal a Venture Partnership with ANZ

The Coal Diggers Seal a Venture Partnership with ANZ

ANZ is financing Whitehaven Coal's Maules Creek project, one of three open pit coal mines proposed for NSW Leard State Forest. If it proceeds the project will clear thousands of hectares of native habitat, including 500 hectares of critically endangered White Box-Gum...

BUMS High Rank Submission to Climate Change Review 2017

May 5, 2017

Coral Bleach & the ‘Clean Coal Fairy’ take a well deserved snortle break during the drafting of BUMS high rank submission

5 May 2017

Climate Change Policies Review – Discussion Paper submissions
2017 Review Branch
Department of the Environment and Energy
GPO Box 787
Canberra ACT 2601
Via: climatechangereview@environment.gov.au

Submission to: Climate Change Review 2017

Global worming (or, as commoners call it, ‘climate change’ real, imagined and/or alternative facts) is unfairly affecting Coal Diggers & dealers lives and emergency measures must be taken to protect us and all doyens of the fossil fuel industry from associated grave threats as a result of:

  • Ravages from intensifying financial storms caused by Coal Investile Dysfunction, a vile contagion that is sweeping global markets wiping out trillions in rightful billionaire profits, ultimately threatening Coal Diggers entitled way of life
  • Existential threats from increasingly intense exposure to adverse impacts from the willy nilly erection of wind turbines that sap vast amounts of roaring 40s renewable winds and threaten to pull Australia in the wrong direction,
  • off-the-shelf-affordable-hyper-efficient solar panels that are swamping our shores and sucking the suns rays out of Australia’s substratosphere and depositing them over foreign-people-owned factories where the offending solar panels were manufactured,
  • rolling tidal waves of cutting edge energy efficiency, storage & distribution systems that are enabling ordinary people to be rid of Coal Diggers’ grid, thereby reducing compulsory contributions to all fossil fuel doyens and their political (that’s you btw, don’t forget!) and financial backers, and
  • any other discriminatory factors, that could compromise Coal Diggers & dealers’ entrenched, rightful effluence.

So, the only acceptable global worming (real, imagined and/or alternative facts) policies are those that will most quickly and quantifiably:

  • further increase generous public subsidies for further research into ‘clean coal’ (real, imagined and/or alternative facts), such as BUMS’ ‘Clean Coal Fairy’
  • further increase generous public subsidies for fossil fuel infrastructure to enable us to weather increasingly ferocious storms caused no doubt by wind turbines,
  • expand approvals for thermal coal that—as Coalition Senators Chris Back and Jonathon Dunlam absolutely rightfully argue—will combat climate change caused by wind turbines,
  • ban all wind turbines, solar panels and batteries for them quick smart, and
  • outlaw all science backed public debate that threatens the ongoing ‘growth growth growth’ in effluence of fossil fuel doyens naturally entitled to further enrich themselves by extracting Australia’s mineral rich substrata, including any subliminally disempowering mentions of this being the ‘sunburnt country’ because that may give people radical ‘energy democracy’ ideas.

So, as you indeed reign huge among our bigly devoted minions, know that Lignite Pitt Q.C. of BUMS’ BIGEND & TOWN Solicitors is at your service should you have any queries about our rightful submission.

Yours minerally,

Coral Bleach
CEO2
Billionaires United Mining Services (BUMS)
GPO 666
Canary Islands

We expect Coalition minions to grant our submission highest rank priority!