From Paris to the Pilliga

At 3.15am on Tuesday 9 February we scrambled out of bed in time to meet other ‘climate angels’ from the Pilliga Push camp on the Newell Highway 6kms northwards. From there it was about a 45-minute drive to Santos’ Narrabri Gas Project that is constructing 850 coal...

#Breakfree2016

  Heralding the start of a global wave of resistance to keep coal, oil & gas in the ground, on the eve of Mother's Day 2016 in the hottest year in recorded history, flocks of Climate Guardian Mother-Angels descended on the offices of Federal Ministers for...

#KeepYourPromise: reduce Australia’s emissions now

The Climate Guardians had a wonderful time on Sunday meeting both young people and caring grown ups at Templestowe College’s Sustainability Festival. We chose this inspiring community occasion to officially launch our #KeepYourPromise campaign, which demands that...

Coal Diggers Frack with Josh Frydenberg @Kooyong 200 Club

Coal Digger CO2 Coral Bleach and her daughter Bianca Bleach (who only tantrum threatens to sue when not snorting) joined Barnaby Coalala to raise $$$s at the exclusive (read secretive) Kooyong 200 Club. The BUMS* called on Josh Frydenberg to ignore the ideological...

#AngelPost

Of all of the incredible and unforgettable actions taken in Paris during COP21, the Climate Guardians’ experiences delivering messages on behalf of Australian children were highlights. Here and in France, not a single person has failed to be moved by the poignancy of...

Angels Arrested at Pilliga Blockade

See coverage and videos here: http://www.northerndailyleader.com.au/story/3715013/where-climate-guardian-angels-didnt-fear-to-tread/

2016: Organised and Armed

2016: Organised and Armed

Of COP21, James Hansen, NASA’s former chief climatologist, said: “It’s a fraud really, a fake. It’s just bullshit for them to say: ‘We’ll have a 2C warming target and then try to do a little better every five years.’ It’s just worthless words. There is no action, just...

2015: Reflections

2015: Reflections

2015 was a big year for the Climate Guardians, especially with our big adventure in Paris for the international UN climate summit COP21 in November and December. We are still going through all of the memories and images that have been created, but in the meantime here...

Who Wants Dirty Coal for Christmas?

Early on Christmas Eve 2015 Santa and a bevy of pin-up elves got stuck on the Minister Who Stole Christmas' rooftop  Santa and his elves have got stuck on the Minister for the Environment, Greg Hunt’s, rooftop to protest his approval of the Abbot Point coal port. Just...

BUMS High Rank Submission to Climate Change Review 2017

May 5, 2017

Coral Bleach & the ‘Clean Coal Fairy’ take a well deserved snortle break during the drafting of BUMS high rank submission

5 May 2017

Climate Change Policies Review – Discussion Paper submissions
2017 Review Branch
Department of the Environment and Energy
GPO Box 787
Canberra ACT 2601
Via: climatechangereview@environment.gov.au

Submission to: Climate Change Review 2017

Global worming (or, as commoners call it, ‘climate change’ real, imagined and/or alternative facts) is unfairly affecting Coal Diggers & dealers lives and emergency measures must be taken to protect us and all doyens of the fossil fuel industry from associated grave threats as a result of:

  • Ravages from intensifying financial storms caused by Coal Investile Dysfunction, a vile contagion that is sweeping global markets wiping out trillions in rightful billionaire profits, ultimately threatening Coal Diggers entitled way of life
  • Existential threats from increasingly intense exposure to adverse impacts from the willy nilly erection of wind turbines that sap vast amounts of roaring 40s renewable winds and threaten to pull Australia in the wrong direction,
  • off-the-shelf-affordable-hyper-efficient solar panels that are swamping our shores and sucking the suns rays out of Australia’s substratosphere and depositing them over foreign-people-owned factories where the offending solar panels were manufactured,
  • rolling tidal waves of cutting edge energy efficiency, storage & distribution systems that are enabling ordinary people to be rid of Coal Diggers’ grid, thereby reducing compulsory contributions to all fossil fuel doyens and their political (that’s you btw, don’t forget!) and financial backers, and
  • any other discriminatory factors, that could compromise Coal Diggers & dealers’ entrenched, rightful effluence.

So, the only acceptable global worming (real, imagined and/or alternative facts) policies are those that will most quickly and quantifiably:

  • further increase generous public subsidies for further research into ‘clean coal’ (real, imagined and/or alternative facts), such as BUMS’ ‘Clean Coal Fairy’
  • further increase generous public subsidies for fossil fuel infrastructure to enable us to weather increasingly ferocious storms caused no doubt by wind turbines,
  • expand approvals for thermal coal that—as Coalition Senators Chris Back and Jonathon Dunlam absolutely rightfully argue—will combat climate change caused by wind turbines,
  • ban all wind turbines, solar panels and batteries for them quick smart, and
  • outlaw all science backed public debate that threatens the ongoing ‘growth growth growth’ in effluence of fossil fuel doyens naturally entitled to further enrich themselves by extracting Australia’s mineral rich substrata, including any subliminally disempowering mentions of this being the ‘sunburnt country’ because that may give people radical ‘energy democracy’ ideas.

So, as you indeed reign huge among our bigly devoted minions, know that Lignite Pitt Q.C. of BUMS’ BIGEND & TOWN Solicitors is at your service should you have any queries about our rightful submission.

Yours minerally,

Coral Bleach
CEO2
Billionaires United Mining Services (BUMS)
GPO 666
Canary Islands

We expect Coalition minions to grant our submission highest rank priority!