#COPThis

#COPThis

Australia is one of the highest per capita contributors to global warming. It’s a double irony therefore that Australia is also the most vulnerable inhabited continent and the country most obviously resisting the ‘heavy lifting’ required to effectively combat the most...

#JustTransition #JustDoIt

#JustTransition #JustDoIt

This time last week a flock of Climate Guardians had just returned from a 'visitation' to the Latrobe Valley where they had joined community calls for a #LVTransition for workers (not speculative fossil fuel investors) who will be directly affected by the urgently...

Save Our Aussie Coalture!

Save Our Aussie Coalture!

Meet the Millennia’s latest Neo-Power Couple: Australia’s Coral Bleach & new Senator MALCOLM IEUAN ROBERTS., the living soul, and self-proclaimed, modern-day Socrates. So their eyes met across a sea of canary yellow hard hats... “I’ll just never forget that...

#NoDAPL

#NoDAPL

In the northern USA something exceptional and exceptionally important is happening right now. People have been coming from near and far to stand with indigenous people of the Great Sioux Nation as they seek to protect their sacred lands and water from the threat of an...

BUMS™ Score The Trifecta!

BUMS™ Score The Trifecta!

Surely you’re just as buoyed (and unsurprised) as we are to see Our ‘Mr Coal’ Josh Frydenberg* take charge of Australia’s Energy & Environment! And the failed former Environment Minister Greg Hunt forge ahead as Minister for Industry & Innovation! And...

BUMS™ Score The Trifecta!

BUMS™ Score The Trifecta!

Surely you’re just as buoyed (and unsurprised) as we are to see Our ‘Mr Coal’ Josh Frydenberg* take charge of Australia’s Energy & Environment! And the failed former Environment Minister Greg Hunt forge ahead as Minister for Industry & Innovation! And...

So we lied. What to do about it?

So we lied. What to do about it?

OK. Yes, Yes, Yes it was us! We free-market-liberationist Coal Diggers did it ALL! And LIED! ...As is our democratic right when it comes to profiteering. And haven't we made a killing! That's how we can afford so many minion politicians. So enough judgement already....

Apologies World

Apologies World

Regardless of their diverse backgrounds, most Australians don’t want their beautiful, unique country turned into a giant quarry that would further poison the world with carbon pollution. It was on their behalf—during the week before the 2016 Federal election—that...

Manifesting @Greenwich+Docklands International Festival

Manifesting @Greenwich+Docklands International Festival

  When we touched down in the UK we were in Europe. When we left a few days later it felt like we were fleeing 'Brexit' rubble—a deeply polarised nation. Meanwhile as the mass media obsessed over regional percentages of 'stay’ or 'leave' votes London's...

Climate Guardians Escape Convictions

Climate Guardians Escape Convictions

After three years of peacefully protest-performing without any significant personal risks, a flock of Climate Guardians was finally arrested and criminally charged on 9 February 2016 in the Pilliga State Forest in Northern New South Wales. Given the long history of...

BUMS High Rank Submission to Climate Change Review 2017

May 5, 2017

Coral Bleach & the ‘Clean Coal Fairy’ take a well deserved snortle break during the drafting of BUMS high rank submission

5 May 2017

Climate Change Policies Review – Discussion Paper submissions
2017 Review Branch
Department of the Environment and Energy
GPO Box 787
Canberra ACT 2601
Via: climatechangereview@environment.gov.au

Submission to: Climate Change Review 2017

Global worming (or, as commoners call it, ‘climate change’ real, imagined and/or alternative facts) is unfairly affecting Coal Diggers & dealers lives and emergency measures must be taken to protect us and all doyens of the fossil fuel industry from associated grave threats as a result of:

  • Ravages from intensifying financial storms caused by Coal Investile Dysfunction, a vile contagion that is sweeping global markets wiping out trillions in rightful billionaire profits, ultimately threatening Coal Diggers entitled way of life
  • Existential threats from increasingly intense exposure to adverse impacts from the willy nilly erection of wind turbines that sap vast amounts of roaring 40s renewable winds and threaten to pull Australia in the wrong direction,
  • off-the-shelf-affordable-hyper-efficient solar panels that are swamping our shores and sucking the suns rays out of Australia’s substratosphere and depositing them over foreign-people-owned factories where the offending solar panels were manufactured,
  • rolling tidal waves of cutting edge energy efficiency, storage & distribution systems that are enabling ordinary people to be rid of Coal Diggers’ grid, thereby reducing compulsory contributions to all fossil fuel doyens and their political (that’s you btw, don’t forget!) and financial backers, and
  • any other discriminatory factors, that could compromise Coal Diggers & dealers’ entrenched, rightful effluence.

So, the only acceptable global worming (real, imagined and/or alternative facts) policies are those that will most quickly and quantifiably:

  • further increase generous public subsidies for further research into ‘clean coal’ (real, imagined and/or alternative facts), such as BUMS’ ‘Clean Coal Fairy’
  • further increase generous public subsidies for fossil fuel infrastructure to enable us to weather increasingly ferocious storms caused no doubt by wind turbines,
  • expand approvals for thermal coal that—as Coalition Senators Chris Back and Jonathon Dunlam absolutely rightfully argue—will combat climate change caused by wind turbines,
  • ban all wind turbines, solar panels and batteries for them quick smart, and
  • outlaw all science backed public debate that threatens the ongoing ‘growth growth growth’ in effluence of fossil fuel doyens naturally entitled to further enrich themselves by extracting Australia’s mineral rich substrata, including any subliminally disempowering mentions of this being the ‘sunburnt country’ because that may give people radical ‘energy democracy’ ideas.

So, as you indeed reign huge among our bigly devoted minions, know that Lignite Pitt Q.C. of BUMS’ BIGEND & TOWN Solicitors is at your service should you have any queries about our rightful submission.

Yours minerally,

Coral Bleach
CEO2
Billionaires United Mining Services (BUMS)
GPO 666
Canary Islands

We expect Coalition minions to grant our submission highest rank priority!