Tell the Truth

Tell the Truth

Who is responsible for News Corp's non-compliance with basic journalistic codes of ethics that underpin the right to hold media licences? Climate Guardians are staging ongoing 'visitations' to highlight that the media giant's shameless championing of climate deniers...

‘What Lies Beneath’

It was a great privilege for the Climate Guardians to help launch Janet Laurence: After Nature at the Museum of Contemporary Art Australia (MCA) in Sydney on the last official day of Australia’s “unprecedented” Summer of 2019*. For nearly 40 years Janet has explored...

Trolls, taxes and trust: a call for action on digital platforms

Introduction by Croakey Editor Marie McInerney. This submission is in response to the preliminary report released by the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission’s (ACCC) as part of its critical Inquiry into Digital Platforms held in 2019. As our previous...

A resounding mandate to properly clean up Victoria’s economy

Dear Daniel Andrews and Team, We wholeheartedly congratulate you All for your win. Your determined progressive policies to transition our economy away from dirty and wasteful energy systems to clean and renewable power, and investment in long neglected public...

#ExtinctionRebellion: a movement goes global

#ExtinctionRebellion: a movement goes global

"We refuse to bequeath a dying planet to future generations by failing to act now. We act in peace, with ferocious love of these lands in our hearts. We act on behalf of life." — #ExtinctionRebellion Strategically timed to help support the global day of climate action...

BOAA Performance: ‘Visitation to Lake Wendouree’

BOAA Performance: ‘Visitation to Lake Wendouree’

It was a great pleasure and privilege for the Climate Guardians to perform at the inaugural Biennale of Australian Art (BOAA, until 6 Nov) and to contribute to the Art and Activism public discussion last weekend. Presenting the work of 150 artists, showing more than...

Coral Bleach: Queen of Global Neo-COALonial Movement

Coral Bleach: Queen of Global Neo-COALonial Movement

It was World Threatened Species Day, which resonated deeply with us Coal Diggers given the mounting, grave threats we face from the lefty-greenie-driven global uptake of solar and wind extractors!   🌞🌀 Determined to protect our specie’s way of life...

BUMS High Rank Submission to Climate Change Review 2017

May 5, 2017

Coral Bleach & the ‘Clean Coal Fairy’ take a well deserved snortle break during the drafting of BUMS high rank submission

5 May 2017

Climate Change Policies Review – Discussion Paper submissions
2017 Review Branch
Department of the Environment and Energy
GPO Box 787
Canberra ACT 2601
Via: climatechangereview@environment.gov.au

Submission to: Climate Change Review 2017

Global worming (or, as commoners call it, ‘climate change’ real, imagined and/or alternative facts) is unfairly affecting Coal Diggers & dealers lives and emergency measures must be taken to protect us and all doyens of the fossil fuel industry from associated grave threats as a result of:

  • Ravages from intensifying financial storms caused by Coal Investile Dysfunction, a vile contagion that is sweeping global markets wiping out trillions in rightful billionaire profits, ultimately threatening Coal Diggers entitled way of life
  • Existential threats from increasingly intense exposure to adverse impacts from the willy nilly erection of wind turbines that sap vast amounts of roaring 40s renewable winds and threaten to pull Australia in the wrong direction,
  • off-the-shelf-affordable-hyper-efficient solar panels that are swamping our shores and sucking the suns rays out of Australia’s substratosphere and depositing them over foreign-people-owned factories where the offending solar panels were manufactured,
  • rolling tidal waves of cutting edge energy efficiency, storage & distribution systems that are enabling ordinary people to be rid of Coal Diggers’ grid, thereby reducing compulsory contributions to all fossil fuel doyens and their political (that’s you btw, don’t forget!) and financial backers, and
  • any other discriminatory factors, that could compromise Coal Diggers & dealers’ entrenched, rightful effluence.

So, the only acceptable global worming (real, imagined and/or alternative facts) policies are those that will most quickly and quantifiably:

  • further increase generous public subsidies for further research into ‘clean coal’ (real, imagined and/or alternative facts), such as BUMS’ ‘Clean Coal Fairy’
  • further increase generous public subsidies for fossil fuel infrastructure to enable us to weather increasingly ferocious storms caused no doubt by wind turbines,
  • expand approvals for thermal coal that—as Coalition Senators Chris Back and Jonathon Dunlam absolutely rightfully argue—will combat climate change caused by wind turbines,
  • ban all wind turbines, solar panels and batteries for them quick smart, and
  • outlaw all science backed public debate that threatens the ongoing ‘growth growth growth’ in effluence of fossil fuel doyens naturally entitled to further enrich themselves by extracting Australia’s mineral rich substrata, including any subliminally disempowering mentions of this being the ‘sunburnt country’ because that may give people radical ‘energy democracy’ ideas.

So, as you indeed reign huge among our bigly devoted minions, know that Lignite Pitt Q.C. of BUMS’ BIGEND & TOWN Solicitors is at your service should you have any queries about our rightful submission.

Yours minerally,

Coral Bleach
CEO2
Billionaires United Mining Services (BUMS)
GPO 666
Canary Islands

We expect Coalition minions to grant our submission highest rank priority!