Flat Earth Institute doth proudly endorseth Senator David Leyonhjelm’s Candidate for Wind Commissioner

MEDIA RELEASE:

We esteemed Astronomers from the Flat Earth Institute hath endorsethed Senator David Leyonhjelm’s candidates for the role of Wind Commissioner.

Flat Earthers Beseeching Leyonhjelm

Professors of The Flat Earth Institute beseeching Senator Leyonhjelm to protecteth us from heathen wind turbines at the Melbourne hearing of the Senate Inquiry into Wind Turbines

“The role of Wind Commissioner was granteth by the honourable LNP government, as part of the recommendations madeth by noble senators of the Wind Inquisition. Fearless crusader for freedom against an over-reaching nanny-state, cross bench senator David Leyonhjelm foundeth that the wind energy industry was insufficiently babysat,”1 said Flat Earth Institute spokesastronomer Adjunct Professor Greenhausen.

“That the crippling wind turbine syndrome hath been denieth by the same scientists and doctors whom verily confectethed the global worming conspiracy, exposeths the light. It was only a matter of time before fearless leaders of the free world steppeth forward to stopeth the outages,” Greenhausen added.

Bruce Rapley

Dr Rapley cited Adolf Hitler as saying “strength lies not in defence but in attack”, and described such beliefs as “evident in the wind industry’s modus operandi as they continue to attack anyone who would question their viewpoint”.

Fortunately, after much calculated searching, braveheart Senator Leyonhjelm hath engagethed a worthy scientist in Dr Bruce Rapley; one who adhereths to Flat Earth orthodoxy and hath likenethed the pagan wind energy industry to Hitler. Among his other qualifications, Dr Rapley is deemethed a suitable candidate by virtue of his New Zealander status, since he “has been out of the Australian environment”2.

In his most strongly worded statement in regardeth to the role of Wind Commissioner, Adjunct Professor Greenhausen hath saideth: “The wind doeth bite shrewdly and needeth capturing by a candidate who hath proveneth his devotion to the fossil fuel gods, coal in particulate matter.” For further comment, please contacteth esteemed medieval spokesastronomer on 0432 056 430 or contact us here.

1 http://www.smh.com.au/environment/climate-change/wind-farm-inquiry-is-not-a-case-of-nanny-state-intervention-david-leyonhjelm-says-20150629-gi08zq.html#ixzz3nHgcjleF

2 http://www.theage.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/scientist-who-likened-wind-industry-to-hitler-shapes-as-potential-turnbull-government-adviser-20150930-gjyijg.html

LEAKED: Flat Earth Institute Submission to Senate Inquisition on Wind Turbines

To help inspire everyone who is currently writing submissions for the Senate Select Committee on Wind Turbines, we thought it would be useful to include an example of some of the other submissions that have been written for the inquiry. Unfortunately this submission is an example of flatulence in the extreme, and so we are neither endorsing the position outlined by The Flat Earth Institute, nor are we recommending that you copy and paste the text from it!

Flat Earth Inst LogoThe Flat Earth Institute

Universitarse of Climatastrophas, Uranus, Parallel Dimension, Another Galaxy, 000111

17 March 2015
Select Committee on Wind Turbines
PO Box 6100
Parliament House
Canberra, ACT 2600

To the Senate Select Committee on Wind Turbines,

Dear Esteemed Senators,

We are writing to you on the matter of the current inquisition into wind turbines. Let us introduceth ourselves. We are medieval astronomers from the esteemed Flat Earth Institute of the Universitarse of…

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MEDIA RELEASE: Flat Earth Institute endorse Senator Madigan’s wind energy witch hunt

MEDIA RELEASE: 23 March, 2015

Today, the Flat Earth Institute has thrown its weight behind the Senate Select Committee on Wind Turbines, endorsing the inquisition.

The inquisition, chaired by long-standing critic of wind energy Senator John Madigan (DLP), is the second senate inquiry into the technology since 2011 and the fourteenth review conducted by an Australian government or agency in six years.

Article Lead - wide6570938411z62oimage.related.articleLeadwide.729x410.134doo.png1422938375063.jpg-620x349 Chair of the Senate Select Committee on Wind Turbines, Senator John Madigan (DLP)

“We proudly endorseth Senator John Madigan’s inquisition into wind energy. It buildeth on our legacy of denying enlightenment and excelling at witch-hunts,” said Professor Greenhausen of the Flat Earth Institute.

“As Senator Madigan hath stated ‘Submarines are the spaceships of the oceans’. Ye satanic windmills are verily heathen science bequeathed by snollygosters that fail to honour the old ways and displeaseth the coal gods.”

The Flat Earth Institute would like to remind the public that the submissions close at 5pm…

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