Locked Down Coral Bleach Zooming with COALition Fans
What follows is BUMS official submission to this heinous Victorian Government Inquiry:
24 August 2020
Crib Point Inquiry and Advisory Committee
Planning Panels Victoria
SUBMISSION: Crib Point gas import jetty and gas pipeline project
Dear Sir/Madam,
This Inquiry is just another example of the gross discrimination and outrageous oppression being inflicted upon fossil fuel doyens in Victoria!
Of course, we should be able to cover Victoria with gas terminals and pipelines as we see fit! After all, how else could Aussie’s have overtaken Saudi Arabia and Russia to become the world’s biggest frackers?!
Meanwhile, as substrata devotees, of course you can be assured that our fracking projects would never disturb any of our giant coal pits and quarries.
We contend that the Magna Carta (on its proper construction) protects fossil fuel billionaires’ entitlement to ongoing compulsory contributions from Victorian energy consumers and taxpayers and that this entitlement has been insufficiently protected by the Victorian ALP government.
As a result of ongoing egregious failures to protect BUMS rightful rights, elitist, leftist-green latté sipping energy alternatives (i.e. solar extractors on the roofs of mums & dads houses and wind exploiters in farmers’ fields backed up by cutting edge batteries) have been allowed to undermine the legacy position of fossil fuels.
We cannot allow this interference in the growth of our beloved gas to grievously infringe our said entitlement to profits and subsidies (upon which the former entirely rely for basic survival).
As our ‘mates’ in charge of the National Coalvid Commission—that is demonstrably in charge of Australia—will assert, this Inquiry represents an assault on our supreme effluence and is plainly unAustralian. We contend that it sounds in compensatory and punitive damages under the Investor State Dispute Settlement clauses of the TPP, and related neoliberal international agreements that are intended to safeguard our legacy power over power (in all its manifestations!), and profits to ensure our continued effluence into the future.
We Stand With AGL! And, with our high-level Attorney, Lignite Pit QC, we will see you in court!!
Ms Coral Bleach
CEO2
Billionaires United Mining Services (BUMS)
PO Box 666
Melbourne Victoria 3000
Website: climacts.org.au