REPORT: Billionaire Coal Diggers’ Fight for Life and Dignity!

Even after all those piddly political donations, Malcolm still insisted on using the unspeakable C word!

As recent events confirm, these are desperate times and desperate times call for desperate measures!

Soz Jules B, t’is time you make way for our “new generation” of heavy lifters

If BUMS* and our fossil fuel billionaire chums lose control over power generation, then billions in rightful coal profits are at stake and the world as we know it may end! 😱
Not only do solar and wind extractors ☀️💨 steal our rightful profits💰, they also bring electricity prices (and emissions🏭) down, down down, which jeopardises Australia’s COP21 target 🎯 of 74% coal power by 2030!
And just imagine what else local communities could end up controlling if they seize control of power generation – our very effluence could be at risk! 😩👎

Coral Bleach and Gina celebrating the Coal Diggers’ latest coup with a wee prospecting binge

This isn’t fear mongering – it’s a very real and immediate threat!
The selfish smashed avocado 🥑 people have the gall to talk about species being under threat when they ignore the fact that our very own Billionaire Coal Diggers should be on the critically endangered list!
Thank heavens for Rupie and his heavy lifters rallying in time to toss out those closet commies who were on the verge of a dangerously ideological deal (aka That Nasty NEG) with inner-city latte sipping people.

Rupie just happened to be in town for the Wrecking Australia’s Democracy reality TV show

Through heroic and strategic leakages and spillages, our “new generation” of coal loving MPs have averted disaster for the time being! 💣
So, if you’re a real Australian patriot 🌏 and value the traditional trickle down status quo 💰, you’ll get behind our efforts to hijack democracy NOW!

C’mon Aussies, Get behind Gina!

*Billionaires United Mining Services, aka Australia’s Coalition

Responding to treacherous announcement re free solar extractors

Our CEO2 Coral Bleach and Attorney Lignite Pitt QC make our case on Level 42 of Herbert Smith Freehills, 101 Collins Street

BREAKING: On behalf of BUMS*, Coral Bleach and Lignite Pitt QC are seeking legal advice to challenge the Victorian state government’s massive rooftop solar power scheme on the grounds that it undermines their legacy control over power.

“It’s a reckless and selfish pinkie-bats plot to strip Coal Diggers of their rightful profits!” exclaimed Coral Bleach. “Consistent with our entitled role in keeping lights on, expect us to retain the most prestigious law firm billionaires can buy,” added her Attorney Lignite Pitt QC.

Add your voice to the chorus of outrage:

*Billionaires United Mining Services – a joint venture PPP (Protecting Private Profits) initiative with Australia’s Coalition Leaders and their financial backers 💡

Naming Rights for Gina Now: Re-launching The IPA @ABC!


Today Coral Bleach and her high flying BUMS* entourage—including Our Gina, Our Mitch (Minister for Billionaires Communications), Our Rupie (Emperor of Our Media Empire), Our Vanessa (Chief of the Minerals Council of Australia and already on ABC’s Board thanks to Our Mitch), and other effluent Billionaire Coal Diggers and aspirants—joined together for a high powered re-launch of the newly re-branded Institute for Gina’s Affairs.

CEO2 of BUMS Coral Bleach with Our Gina, Our Rupie, Our Minister Mitch and Our Vanessa. We think it’s about time Aussies knew the facts behind the scenes.

Institute of Public Affairs people are literally all over our media thanks largely to Our Mentor and Spiritual Mother Gina.

Our Vanessa opens up about how hurtful it was when the smashed avocado people criticised her ABC board appointment on the grounds that her only expertise is in digging up and burning Australia

As court documents show, Our Gina has rightfully given untold millions to the (former) Institute of Public Affairs—as much as 91 per cent of its entire budget during 2016. Clearly she deserves Naming Rights status for her heroic efforts to defend us Billionaires from the green communist immigrants!, said BUMS* CEO2 Ms Coral Bleach.

Our Generous Gina finally enjoys the attention she deserves!

With its deductible gift recipient (charity) status, The Institute of Public Affairs has long been the darling of charitable lobby groups for the rich and powerful. Expressed another way, what Billionaire Coal Digger could refuse a tax deduction for lobbying services to scrap environmental protections and workers rights? And considering how much free content Gina’s IPA has showered on the ABC, clearly Aussie’s have a right to know the facts of her generous patronage!

Our Rupie mansplains how global media empires operate to ensure that only the right facts—Our Facts—are reported.

Thanks to the Institute for Gina Affairs, billionaires are on track to own and control ALL mainstream media outlets. And thanks to Our Mitch it’s looking like we’ll be back re-launching the ABC as the GBC in no time!,” suggested Ms Bleach with a wink and nod.

CEO2 Coral Bleach interviews Our Mitch for her new Coal Digger Lifestyles program, coming soon!

Here we are inside the ABC, while the eager media throng was restrained by our loyal #457 visa worker guards.

‘On that note, have you read our latest fav IPA publication (reprints to be rebranded IGA, naturally) publication, Against Public Broadcasting: Why Facts Cost Us Money & How We Hide Them From You?” added Ms Bleach.


* Billionaires United Mining Services – a joint venture PPP (aka Protecting Private Profits) with Australia’s COALition