‘Coal by Josh and Matt’ (and Malcolm) grades high-rank

Dear Poet,

Thank you for submitting to ClimAct’s inaugural Pen a Coal Poem for Christmas Competition.

In case you didn’t read the automated disclaimer carefully—as Gina’s A1-devotee—Coral Bleach’s Our Profits was always entitled to win. Like Gina, Coral must always wins. It’s true. Ask anyone.

Howevs, in accepting her own high-rank grading award for Our Profits, in the spirit of open-pit, Coral also recited your deeply meriting substrata-submission. Given its underlying devotion to all matters coal and clean energy subsidies forthwith, we’re convinced Malcolm Turnbull also did some of the heavy lifting* and trust that you’ll duly share your coal prize with Our Giant Quarry’s PM.

Yours forever in fossil fossils,

The Coal Diggers 💋


Coal by Josh Frydenberg and Matt Canavan

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

An open cut coal mine pit can reach, when feeling out of sight

I love thee to the level of every day’s

Noise, dust and environmental destruction that coal mining brings to people and health

I love thee expensively as only bribes from the mining industry can be

I love thee purely, as they turn a green idyll into and choking, dust laden wasteland

I love thee with the passion put to use to get as much money as I can before the global market turns the taps off

I shall but love thee better after the many millions that die due to coal pollution pass away each year

* our proper props and thanks go to ghost writer Cyclone Charlie!

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