Announcing ClimActs’ inaugural ‘Pen a Coal Poem for Christmas’ Competition!

Coral Bleach reciting lines from 'Our Profits": "Billionaires are sadly groaning from Coal Investile Dysfunction This vile contagion is spreading around the globe, an epidemic out of control"

Coral Bleach recites ‘Our Profits” (full poem below) at a recent IPA gala: “Billionaires are sadly groaning from Coal Investile Dysfunction
This vile contagion is spreading around the globe, an epidemic out of control…”

Do you have what it takes to win ClimActs’ Coal Poems for Christmas Competition inspired by the universe’s worst poem (so far)?

'An Illustrated Treasury of Gina Rinehart' by First Dog on the Moon šŸ¾

‘An Illustrated Treasury of Gina Rinehart’ by First Dog on the Moon šŸ¾

Criteria: in 150 words or less, poetically (and satirically) serenade ordinary folk about the virtues of fossil fuels and mining through the eyes of a Billionaire miner! For instance, what it feels like to be given billions of taxpayers’ dollars to help you get richer through projects that destroy invaluable public assets, threaten food bowls and water reserves.

Note that since everyday is Christmas for billionaires, references to the quasi-religious consumer festival itself are unnecessary. Yet you will be handsomely rewarded for references to our winning international misinformation machine composed of thinktanks, bloggers and fake citizensā€™ groups.

Please submit your coal poems via this link (keeping them nice so that we can proudly share your work). Winners and prizes will be announced early in the New Year.

Scenes from our recent IPA Coalabration Poetry Slam and JP Sears’ courageous efforts to speak up for ‘the group of people who have been the most mistreated, oppressed, disrespected and cheated by the government – oil companies!’ may help provide some inspiration for your masterpiece!

JP Sears Standing with Standing Rock

And who couldn’t fail to see The Juice Media’s logic in handing a foreign billionaire coal miner a billion dollars of taxpayers money to help Australia on its way to giant quarry, most polluting nation status, Great Barrier Reef or Not!

 

Disclaimer: in exchange for incalculable therapeutic benefits to be derived, we reserve the right to 1) select as many winners as suits our agenda, and 2) to use your poems in future ClimActs direct action poetry slams, and/or 3) to use sophisticated psychological persuasion techniques to encourage you to humorously and non-violently deliver your poem(s) to Billionaires and/or their foot soldiers in business, government and politics.

Coal Diggers take time out from the IPA's gala to host their own press conference

Coal Diggers take time out from the IPA’s gala to host their own press conference

Our Profits

Billionaires are sadly groaning from Coal Investile Dysfunction

This vile contagion is spreading around the globe, an epidemic out of control

Billions in our rightful profits are threatened as our visa workers are left to ponder

Solar panels are swamping our shores wreaking chaos, threatening our economy

Giant wind turbines are generating ferocious storms, threatening our bounty

That much a blind man could see, we must secure our booty!

But on this special night we celebrate our giant quarries, our minerals that delight

You can see for yourself the magic we do with sacred sites!

Think of all the ancient souls liberated from eternal substrata entrapment

So forget your Great Barrier Reef, our plans for Uluru will astound you!

Just give us your soils and souls

Relax now Aussies, know that you can trust us to do the heavy lifting

Before it is too late!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s