Save Our Aussie Coalture!

Coral Bleach and MALCOLM IEUAN ROBERTS, the living soul, embrace in Melbourne University’s ancient corridors of power

Meet the Millennia’s latest Neo-Power Couple: Australia’s Coral Bleach & new Senator MALCOLM IEUAN ROBERTS., the living soul, and self-proclaimed, modern-day Socrates.

So their eyes met across a sea of canary yellow hard hats…

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Having stared down one another in courtrooms as they battle one another over rights to indigenous and other people’s land, wedding guests remarked how surprising it was to see Mother & daughter Coral & Bianca Bleach presenting so civil at the ceremony

“I’ll just never forget that Heartland moment for as long as I live!,” exclaimed Coral Bleach sniffling as she struggled to recall which secretive Institute of Public Affairs/Coalition fundraiser it was exactly.

No stranger to billionaire couplings, Coral Bleach insists that #7 has “so far been my totes fave fiancée!” Asked to comment on the fate of her former billionaire miner muse, Coral expressed regrets that “that bloody Clive was such a lousy sitter [having smashed parliament absentee records]. Malcolm is like so obvs better trained. And intellectual”.

Clive Palmer hemmed in by adoring Billionaire Coal Digger

Clive Palmer hemmed in by adoring Billionaire Coal Diggers

“It’s ‘basic’ really, Coral’s fully in awe of Malcolm’s self taught expertise, and/iron-ore grasp of climate deniers’ strategies 101 handbook,” said one of Roberts’ BUMS* mentors and former bosses. In her own words, Coral insists that: “unlike those extreme-greenist-alarmist-elitist Professors who waste years and years of their lives recording, exchanging and analysing data from all corners of the natural world, and labouring over peer reviewed manuscripts (and for free silly socialists!), whereas Moi Malcolm grokked the “logical scientific reasoning and empirical scientific evidence” straight from YouTube clips as international Rock Star-Particle-Physicist Prof Brian Cox will tell you! And have you seen what he can do with graphs? Amazaballs!”

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Newly bridled new Senator MALCOLM IEUAN ROBERTS, the living soul, pauses for a selfie with Coral Bleach

Also committed to re-imagining Australia as a One Nation of consuming white people who come from other places, Coral Bleach enthusiastically espoused her “deepest appreciation of Malcolm’s generosity in seeking to radically increase our coal shipments to poor people. This way they can create their very own sweat shops! How else can a purfect world trickle?”

Asked if she was concerned that Malcolm earned a seat in Australia’s Senate with only 77 personal votes, Coral nearly flicked her veil off from atop her blinged-hard hat as she exclaimed: “waaagh [sic] don’t pay any attention to irrelevant inner-city green eyed latté sippers….[sic]”

The couple unionised in private “to avoid further cynical, billionaire-bashing-gossip mongering by people who don’t get it that we Coal Diggers can dump anything we like. Starting with so-called leaders who dare tax our effluence. Exhibit A, ‘Juliar’. What was she thinking?, lol.”

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Weddings bring people together so it’s fitting that Coral’s daughter Bianca agreed to a détente in her landmark lawsuit against her mining magnate mother. See how much Bianca is enjoying her duo-role as flower girl/maiden of honour

 

 

Queried why the love birds chose Melbourne University over one of their tropical tax havens, Coral insisted that “one of the appeals of Malcolm’s career in the fossil fuel industry has been the formation of strong linkages and bondages with academics, be they real or imagined as empirical evidence may be.” Further to that she said: “besides Bébès, the ‘basic’ fact is that BUMS own Australia’s academic institutions. And I’m not just talking about their substrata.”

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The newlyweds taking their baby coal truckies for a walk around Melbourne University’s grounds. Which they own

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Galilee Basin bred Coalquembouche drizzled with Bowen Basins Tar-Sands sauce: mineral rich, high carbon and low cal. To die for!

At Coral Bleach’s insistence, the newlyweds are off to the Great Barrier Reef for their honeymoon. More soon!

EDITOR’S NOTE: thanks to more than a decade of work by investigative journalists, historians and writers, the hyper links in this blog reveal the depth of deception by the denial movement. This is the story that must be heard every time Malcolm Roberts opens his mouth in or out of Australia’s parliament.

Special thanks to Fossil Free MU for allowing us to stage this during ClimActs’ Enviro Week 2016 workshop.

For further independent references please don’t hesitate to contact us.

* Billionaires United Mining Services

#NoDAPL

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In the northern USA something exceptional and exceptionally important is happening right now. People have been coming from near and far to stand with indigenous people of the Great Sioux Nation as they seek to protect their sacred lands and water from the threat of an oil pipeline. The story of the struggle to resist the Dakota Access Pipeline—to demonstrate that people are more powerful than dollars—is capturing imaginations and headlines the world over. 

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Intending to carry 400,000 barrels of crude oil a day from the Bakken region of western North Dakota across South Dakota and Iowa to connect with an existing pipeline in Illinois, the Dakota Access Pipeline is set to make 200 river crossings in four states, including across the Missouri and the Mississippi rivers. The project gravely threatens sacred sites and the drinking water supplies for more than ten million people.  

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In response to what is in effect an ongoing invasion by a system that disrespects everything, indigenous people from many Native American tribes have together formed a blockade camp at Standing Rock Reservation in North Dakota. Their resistance is based on a common vision to protect their ancestral lands using non-violence. Together they are defying a system that is rooted in violence against the earth and in disregard of the interconnectedness that supports us all.

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In recent weeks the camp of non-violent “protectors not protestors” has grown in numbers from a handful, to hundreds and then thousands, and legal injunctions have been sought to stop the construction of the pipeline. While similar to the controversial Keystone Pipeline recently stopped by the Obama administration, the Dakota Access Pipeline does not cross international borders and hence does not fall under the US federal jurisdiction.  

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At dawn on Wednesday 24th August, a flock of Climate Guardian Angels proudly manifested on the Princes Bridge—a key gateway in to Melbourne Australia—to demonstrate their support for the indigenous Native American protectors standing strong at Standing Rock. The 24th was chosen as a global Day of Prayer and Action because it was the day that a ruling re the community’s legal injunction against the project was to have been determined. Unable to come to a decision, the judge has since delayed his ruling until 9 September. 

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Just as the mining, burning and exporting of Australian coal and gas poses grave risks for Australia’s Great Barrier Reef and greater local environment and further gravely threatens the global climate from exposure to greenhouse gas, so too does the Dakota Access Pipeline. Given the wholesale failure of governments to halt these life-threatening projects, it’s vital that globally connected local communities stand together now. We must identify and defend all ‘hot spots’ (or rather ‘halt spots’) at risk from fossil fuel related activities.  We must keep all coal, oil and gas in the ground while we replace dangerous energy projects with locally owned and controlled zero pollution energy systems.

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The action now unfolding at Standing Rock Reservation is a shining example of people taking action to protect their local, and by consequence the global environment, from the destruction wrought by the fossil fuel industry. We hope all people gathering at Standing Rock take further great strength from knowing that theirs is a historic action. That, as the eyes of the compassionate world are on them, they feel emboldened by the recognition that their actions come at a moment in history when everything can change.

And so the global wave of resistance to keep coal, oil and gas in the ground rolls on. There is no stopping it now. Change is happening. All around the world people are waking up to their power, becoming active in the protection of the precious natural world. 

Climate Guardians are beyond proud to stand in solidarity with all ‘protectors’. Together we are fighting for all life.

 #WaterIsLife #NoDAPL #leaveitintheground 

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