#KeepYourPromise: reduce Australia’s emissions now

The Climate Guardians had a wonderful time on Sunday meeting both young people and caring grown ups at Templestowe College’s Sustainability Festival.


We chose this inspiring community occasion to officially launch our #KeepYourPromise campaign, which demands that Australia’s leaders honour the promises that they made at COP21 in Paris. The strong response to the Climate Guardians’ #AngelPost mission (which delivered hundreds of children’s messages to COP21 decision makers in Paris) was the impetus for the #KeepYourPromise campaign. While it was encouraging that our sun-drenched and wind-swept country belatedly joined the ‘coalition of ambition’ we’re still waiting for signs that they will actually honour the commitments made on the world stage.


For instance within nine days of agreeing to attempt to limit global temperature increases to 1.5 degrees (and a maximum of 2 degrees) the Federal government approved an extension of the Abbott Point Coal Terminal (located on the boundary of the world heritage listed Great Barrier Reef marine park). This would make Abbott Point the world’s largest coal port (at a time when the world is dumping the dangerous fuel) and would unleash the Galilee Basin carbon bomb by enabling other foreign owned climate wrecking coal projects.


Around six weeks later further devastating cuts were made to the CSIRO’s climate science divisions. Then hot on the heels of gutting Australia’s climate research capacities the Turnbull government announced a new Energy Resources Growth Centre to ‘drive innovation, competitiveness and productivity across the oil, gas, coal and uranium sectors’ (which are largely owned by foreign corporations) at a cost of $15.4 million to Australian tax payers. Meanwhile, the government continues to repeal climate policies that were proving enormously successful at driving billions of dollars of new investments in clean renewable energy and creating thousands of new jobs in local, sustainable economies.

It’s not that sustainable, zero pollution and efficient energy alternatives aren’t available. In fact backed by cooperative finance models, determined communities have been driving inspiring sustainability projects despite the ongoing blocks and frustrations imposed by governments and entrenched energy retailers. Check out Solar Citizens and CORENA (Citizens Owned Renewable Energy Network Australia) to get an idea of how local communities are leading the charge towards a more fair and sustainable world consistent with our Climate Justice Plan.


The #KeepYourPromise campaign will continue to track our government’s breaches of its commitments under the Paris Agreement and promote the community owned and controlled sustainable projects needed to avoid a climate and eco-system meltdown.

Do you believe that it is totally unacceptable for our “leaders” to continue to prop up dirty industries (and their investors), which are destroying the Earth’s capacity to support life while wilfully hindering the roll out of clean renewable energy? We do and we are 100% committed to ensuring that our politicians honour the fundamental duty of care that they owe to their children, grandchildren and the vulnerable communities that it is their job to protect. It’s time. #KeepYourPromise.


Coal Diggers Frack with Josh Frydenberg @Kooyong 200 Club

Coal Digger CO2 Coral Bleach and her daughter Bianca Bleach (who only tantrum threatens to sue when not snorting) joined Barnaby Coalala to raise $$$s at the exclusive (read secretive) Kooyong 200 Club. The BUMS* called on Josh Frydenberg to ignore the ideological green army’s outrageously discriminatory calls for Pollution Free Politics.

What: An Autumn brekkie Interception – https://www.kooyong200.com/events

When: from 6.45am, Friday 4 March 2016

Where: Main entrance, Hawthorn Town Hall, 360 Burwood Road, Hawthorn


Bianca Bleach prospecting for her first husband

The Coal Diggers are the most loyal supporters of special fundraising clubs like the Kooyong 200 Club that have squirrelled millions of dollars into the LNP’s coffers over more than a decade. How else could the BUMS conglomerate make highly secretive, political (aka self-serving) donations to their obedient political tools?

“We just adore that sweetie precious Josh Frydenberg. He’s always been suitably impressed with our effluence – drops everything to frack with us!” said Coral Bleach.


Coral & Bianca Bleach stealing the show

“And it’s time we found a suitable BUM for Bianca” added Ms Bleach.

“Early birds catch worms!” piped in Bianca, with signature sex appeal.

Acknowledging their gratitude for the billions they saved BUMS in taxes, the Coal Diggers admitted to having significant sitting issues with Clive’s PUPs. So as right succors for elite servants like Josh, the Coal Diggers have embarked on another novel game of democracy: the #KoalasForCoal micro party. After all, koalas can sit in their sleep and democracy works better for BUMS that way.


Coral Bleach & Barnaby Coalala welcome their devotees

“Really we just do what we do to keep Aussie voters happy and entertained. Who wouldn’t wanna vote for a cute coal-addicted koala like me? I keep our economy on the right track, so to speak” said Barnaby Coalala, President and lead candidate for the recently launched #KoalasForCoal Party.


Coral Bleach mingling with Josh’s other secret donors

After Coral Bleach got a bit too fracky with her darlink Josh, BUMS servants from the Hawthorn police station came to settle down the Coal Party. Interestingly one of the gentleman in blue had heard about the ‘dodgy accounting’ of groups like the Kooyong 200 Club. Still, he couldn’t find grounds for arrests, phew.

“As the greatest benefactors of our rich Quarry Nation, we owe it to ourselves to protect our rightful profits,” insisted Ms Bleach with a sniffle of coal party particles.

And here’s a clip of Bianca musing over her billionaire miner husband prospects. It’s Worth noting that this footage was taken at a second entrance after the Hawthorn Town Hall’s main entrance was shut down due to ‘protesters’.

* Billionaires United Mining Services – a joint venture partnership Protecting Private Profits with Australia’s Federal govern-mint